I’ve been leading a double life. And now, it just might get my butt electrocuted.

Most days I am a mild-mannered novelist who hasn’t been a student of any kind for a good number of years. But on those odd days, those special days, I am Jane Doe, grad student.

I disguise myself in jeans and a t-shirt, ball cap, backpack. I step onto campus and whoosh! I am absorbed into the 27,000-strong student body. Like a stick insect, I move with my surroundings, blend and disappear.

Okay, “disguise” is a strong word. I live in a t-shirt and jeans no matter what I’m doing. But it’s particularly useful when I absolutely, positively must get three chapters done in a day and a half. When the hammer is down, the home office just won’t cut it. I go back to school.

In the undergraduate library, student or no, I can have a hard chair, a square of study table and an electrical outlet for my laptop and absolute and total peace. No cell phones. No internet. No e-mail. No instant messages. No one bothers me for twelve hours at a stretch, and with a trusty peanut butter sandwich as brain fuel, I can double my usual productivity.

(I can think of a dozen or so writers who have famously turned to less-legal methods of increasing their output. Imagine all the trouble – and brain cells – that could’ve been saved if only they’d known about the Ream Method.)

Alas, the whole thing may have just gone down the crapper. ‘Cause now they’re going and Tasering people.

My favorite student library only allows non-students until 11 p.m. Afterwards, anyone wishing to stay may be required to show a student I.D. It’s a safety measure. I understand and am happy to comply. (For the record, dear campus cops, I always comply with all rules lest I lose my coveted work spot.)

Last week after 11, campus police requested a student show his I.D. The student apparently felt he was being singled out because of his race and refused. Reports differ at this point. The police say he refused to leave and began trying to recruit others to his cause. Some witnesses claim that he was starting to leave when things got way, way out of control.

What certainly did happen was that the police decided the best way to make him leave was to Taser him, some say as many as five times, which sounds bad when you read it. But should you decide to mosey on over to www.youtube.com, type “ucla taser” into the search feature and click on the video titled “UCLA Student Tasered by Police in Library,” it’s much, much worse.

Another student used his cell phone to video tape the incident. The student in question can be heard screaming and crying, and you can see when the officers apply the gun and see the violent reaction of the man’s body. Surrounding students can be heard shouting at the cops to stop, demanding their badge numbers. Viewer discretion is most seriously advised.

An investigation into the incident and the officers’ response has begun. But no matter what happens, my secret work spot is just never going to be the same.