ahream

Well, at least this one time, it wasn’t just me.

CNN.com has posted a story on Nancy Pelosi’s freakish, super-human blink fest during the State of the Union speech. Eight-five blinks per minute. That’s 1.4 blinks per second.

There are whole 10-minute blocks of the speech I missed because I was so distracted by this. I found myself comparing her blinks to Cheney’s blinks – who, it turns out, doesn’t blink ever, further confirming the obvious conclusion that he is a reptile who must lick his own eyeballs when no one is looking.

And because I am a small and petty person, I was compelled to share this observation with my best friend who lives in San Francisco and is therefore legally required to burn effigies of the current president on her non-denominational, quasi-Wiccan altar made of post-consumer recyclables.

The following is an actual transcript of the e-mail conversation.

Her: “Okay, I totally almost spewed my water all over everything.”

(No doubt this was fair-trade water.)

Me: “You know it’s true. He’s an eyeball licker.”

Her: “Stop that! I’m gonna wet myself.”

And then proving that I am not only small and petty but, all evidence to the contrary, a six-year-old boy –

Me: “EYEBALL LICKER! EYEBALL LICKER!”

I really shouldn’t be allowed to vote.

ahream Dispatches from the City of Angels I'm a mystery writer living in and writing about Los Angeles. You can catch my short story, "Running Venice," in the new anthology LAndmarked for Murder. Look for it in bookstores and on Amazon.com now. In the meantime, feel free to poke around. Over at my website you can find even more blog entries than I could fit here, as well as a few other ramblings. Enjoy and come back often.
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