ahream

Dear Bill Gates,

I would like to thank you for the spiffy new Microsoft Office 2007 program I was forced to purchase for half the price of an actual laptop. I am particularly pleased with how Word randomly switches back and forth between two open documents with no prompting necessary from the user, who – let’s face it – is really just getting in the way of your fine programming.

I also love that no matter how many times I change the “default” settings, Word refuses to stop putting extra spaces between my paragraphs. That’s just too funny. And the way it freezes for five minutes every half an hour to create a “back-up file” I neither need nor want is really a hoot.

I also think it’s great that I had to delete two years worth of saved e-mails in order to use Outlook to retrieve current messages. I especially appreciate how you informed me on your website that it was a “known problem” that having more than, say, four saved e-mails could cause Outlook 2007 to take literally two hours to download two new messages. I think shipping software with catastrophic “known problems” such as this really helps customers to find practical, everyday uses for those meditation classes we’ve been taking at the community center.

Oh, and we can’t forget how you’ve helpfully changed the file extension in your 2007 edition to .docx, which is unrecognizable to all other editions of Word that 99% of my colleagues and editors use. I just love that special feature.

Keep up the good work.

Yours in deep-seated anger,
Ashley

ahream Dispatches from the City of Angels I'm a mystery writer living in and writing about Los Angeles. You can catch my short story, "Running Venice," in the new anthology LAndmarked for Murder. Look for it in bookstores and on Amazon.com now. In the meantime, feel free to poke around. Over at my website you can find even more blog entries than I could fit here, as well as a few other ramblings. Enjoy and come back often.
:: JOURNAL HOME :: SUBSCRIBE TO THIS JOURNAL :: WWW.AHREAM.COM :: FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER :: PHOTOS :: MYSPACE :: EMAIL ::
Previous Entry :: Next Entry Read/Post Comments (2) Most Recent Twitters: A 3-foot long alligator was found walking down the middle of the street in Venice Beach this morning. I love L.A. In case you were wondering, it is very difficult to get a hummingbird out of your house. They are irrational and prone to hysterics. L.A. Finds: The Nickel Diner on Main between 5th and 6th is a made-to-look-old, throwback of a place that melds into the old downtown and is, at the same time, part of the renaissance. They serve their burgers medium, their soda in bottles and offer all they can to locals in need. Flickr Updates: The second Thursday of every month is the Downtown Art Walk. The galleries stay open late, the restaurants are packed, bands perform on the streets. God, I love L.A. What I'm Reading: Attack of the Unsinkable Rubber Ducks by Christopher Brookmyre What I Talk About When I Talk About Running by Haruki Murakami Want E-Mail Updates? Click here, type your e-mail address into the first field (for public entries) and receive an e-mail note each time a new blog post goes up. (Photo updates, Twitters and "L.A. Finds" features not included. Those you have to swing by and check yourself.) Absolutely, positively no spam. Promise. Other author blogs: Sue Ann Jaffarian Eric Stone Christa Faust Lipstick Chronicles		2007-08-20 10:08 AM Dear Bill Dear Bill Gates, I would like to thank you for the spiffy new Microsoft Office 2007 program I was forced to purchase for half the price of an actual laptop. I am particularly pleased with how Word randomly switches back and forth between two open documents with no prompting necessary from the user, who – let’s face it – is really just getting in the way of your fine programming. I also love that no matter how many times I change the “default” settings, Word refuses to stop putting extra spaces between my paragraphs. That’s just too funny. And the way it freezes for five minutes every half an hour to create a “back-up file” I neither need nor want is really a hoot. I also think it’s great that I had to delete two years worth of saved e-mails in order to use Outlook to retrieve current messages. I especially appreciate how you informed me on your website that it was a “known problem” that having more than, say, four saved e-mails could cause Outlook 2007 to take literally two hours to download two new messages. I think shipping software with catastrophic “known problems” such as this really helps customers to find practical, everyday uses for those meditation classes we’ve been taking at the community center. Oh, and we can’t forget how you’ve helpfully changed the file extension in your 2007 edition to .docx, which is unrecognizable to all other editions of Word that 99% of my colleagues and editors use. I just love that special feature. Keep up the good work. Yours in deep-seated anger, Ashley Read/Post Comments (2) Previous Entry :: Next Entry Back to Top