Such Sweet Nothing Words, whispers and sighs Shrieks, sometimes 247309 Curiosities served |
2006-05-23 9:33 PM hope is... Previous Entry :: Next Entry Read/Post Comments (0) this week is not turning out fantastic. in fact, its looking quite horrific.
i had a bad training yesterday. as in a really bad one... i dunno how to explain why i screwed it up. i noe its quite unbelievable if i said i tried my best. but believe it or not, i did... i just... just really want this.... i dunno how to describe. ok. let me put it this way. i want this the way a person who has been wandering in the desert thirsts for water. ok. thats disgusting. but thats the basic feeling. wanting something cos u have never had it before. its a mad hunger. irrational even. cos "why do you think you are missing something you never had?" technically speaking, that sentence is completely logical... but as proven by the above. humans arent always logical. thats the only reason why i still have hope. i dun understand. i am not one to hold hope. i am a stranger to hope. i'm the gloomiest pessimist around. to me, when there's a silver lining, there must be a dark cloud. i dunno why i hang on to hope and a hope that is so bleak, so faint, and so... well. hopeless. anyway. besides training yesterday... today was so so... got english back. my first a1 in so so long... happy. relieved in a sense really... and then there was chinese.i dun even want to talk abt it... haiz. the rest of the day was a blur through my half closed eyes... cant really recall what happened and how i reacted. just hoping tmr will give me one single tiny itsy bitsy reason not to think abt suicide again. hope. it bends, it twists. it sometimes hides. but rarely does it break. it sustains us when nothing else can. Read/Post Comments (0) Previous Entry :: Next Entry Back to Top |
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