Such Sweet Nothing Words, whispers and sighs Shrieks, sometimes 247330 Curiosities served |
2006-10-28 8:59 PM the day has come Previous Entry :: Next Entry Mood: oddly excited. but still understandably stressed. Read/Post Comments (0) soooo
it all starts on monday. some insane part of me cannot wait for it to begin. i suppose the logic is that it has to begin in order to end. so it is possible to see the beginning as a thing to look forward to. however, the sane side of me begs to differ. starting with chinese. damn. why cant they have picked another subject? startings are very important. a good beginning is half the battle won. its the same in a race, you start well and you tend to end well. what kind of shit starting am i gonna get with chinese. i mean, its CHINESE. really, i am nothing like the daughters in jlc. i am totally ok with my culture. i just... don't do chinese really well. been focused on the damn subject for like 5 hours today... and i still think i'm gonna fail. stressssss. damn... i don't want to fail. but i know a1 is so out of reach. i just want to pass so i don't have to take chinese anymore. its just become so painful for me to learn the subject. i mean, i can speak it; occasionally, i actually read chinese magazines and i find the articles really nice. but to really force myself to learn word after word, write, memorise meaning, form sentences... its just become some kind of subtle torture for me. i don't know where i stand anymore. for me, i know that for o levels, i have not studied with the same determination and understanding as i have for prelims. but i cannot tell this to anyone in class. because no one will believe me. they don't see how frustrating it is. for them to just assume that mugging is effortless and a given for me. just because i practise self discipline doesnt mean i love studying and it doesnt mean i always succeed in doing it. sometimes, i get tired too. i just wish they would see. i was thinking about christmas today. about glistening tinsel and jingle bells about presents and dresses about angels and peace about christmas cartoons, turkey lighted candles, glittery balls i think underneath all the peace and goodwill to all men thing, christmas is really just a universal excuse to shop, eat, laugh and love.maybe its why i always feel a little better when i think about christmas. feel like i just remembered how to smile. i can't wait. i really can't. Read/Post Comments (0) Previous Entry :: Next Entry Back to Top |
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