can you hear it?
that collective sigh. the holidays are over.
but then again, they eneded for me when i landed in singapore.

my classmates are studying and panicky. i can feel it.

but i feel like i'm rolled up in a thick sheet of bubble wrap. none of that gets through to me. i'm just, very safe in a panicky world.

is this good or is this bad.. i dont know.

lets just say i have more or less (more, actually) given up on midyears. i figured that i'm pretty much very screwed... so yea. sit back, relax and enjoy the ride.

my parents certainly aren't pushing me to score.

no, they just take for granted that i will.

you know what, i just hope i pass every single subject. really. i'm so unprepared, its appalling. nobody will believe i'm the same girl who ate her notes by prelims.
ah well. there's the first for everything.
nick says i have never tasted failure.

well, i hope i like the first big dose then.

first cut's the deepest isnt it...

wasted my holidays awake, on the brink of disasterous midyears, still numb to it all.

today i went out for a good japanese lunch. just cut sis's cake.

maybe i'll be panicky soon. or tmr morning. or something.

right now, my mood is like whatever.

i cant study anyway. keep falling asleep. my body is protesting to the late nights and the boring notes... this is just one instance where i think i agree with Cartesian duality... my mind wants one thing and my body another...

i wonder how i'll feel when i get my papers back... is a slow, quiet saddness and humiliation... or is like getting hit by a train.. or is it... that 'i told you so' playing in my mind.. or all...or maybe... it doesnt matter.

urgggg. i hate my pre-exams posts. all so... trashy.