I can't help it. I have to say this. My brother is freaking... unsavable. I cannot do anything for him. He basically just doesn't give a shit what happens to him anymore. and right now, neither can I.

My sis said: It's biologically impossible to have no brains.
My brother enters the room.
I said: Here comes the biological miracle.

SERIOUSLY! I for one don't remember being this dumb when I was 12.
So. even though I am supposed to be stinking happy now, reading about Japan and not having a care in the world, the truth is, I've been feeling pretty horrible these few days.
Why?

I said: I've been bashing myself up inside about promos.
You said: Was it fun?
I said: Not really. But I can't stop anyway.

It's the truth. I can't even apologise for doing it. I know i shouldn't. I know its stupid. But I can't help it. I'm just pissed. How could I have done this to myself.
Way to go. really.
You know, compared to many many people, I really put a lot of effort into screwing my promos. Some just let it come naturally. I worked all the way up to it.
I can't even explain what happened. I just...urg.

I guess i sort of just forgot about it all on Thurs when there were people around. But in my alonetime, it all comes flooding back. Back in the exam halls, back under the clocks, back rummaging through my brains, trying to think of something to say, back feeling utterly helpless and like a total failure.

Goodbye h3. seriously. If I get to do h3, I hereby solemnly swear that I will... be nice to people for a week.

time for me to grab a family sized chocolate bar. for me and the guilt and regret and pissed-upness living inside me.