Crash and Burn.
Let's do that.
Hmmm. I am supposed to have abandoned this blog. But I can't. Too much poured into it. And I have thought about it and come to the conclusion that I don't give a flying fuck about you and the entire episode anyway. So what the hell right.

Promo results. I shall not elaborate too much. Math was surprising. In a nice way. Really unexpected. History was... (ref above: crash and burn)
I am disappointed in myself. (I wonder how many eyerolls I got with that sentence...) But it's true. fucked up. really.
As predicted, just 2 days of school. And I'm really drained. The whole emotional turmoil of having to deal with my shitty results and also people's reactions...
The problems on my mind:
1) H3 how. do i even fucking qualify. and which one. and what to drop. Parents are hounding. They think I'm doing too much. How do I tell them how panicky I am that I won't fucking make it to university? Can't talk at home, can't talk in school. It's a wonder I'm still sane (sort of).

2) Entering a period of I-should-have-gone-to-science. I love the arts. Truly. They are the main reason I go to school, attend lectures tutorials and work my ass off. I love it all. But really... what did I give up to be happy. Worth it? Hardly, in the eyes of any uni admission interviewer. I don't know why I'm still hoping the wrong choice will give the right consequences.

Tmr: more pain. more acting.

Was it good today?