This entry... is about forgiveness. Because its Christmas you see.
Forgive me
For not having Christmas cheer right fucking now.

Signs that this is going to be the worst Christmas of all freaking time (Oh yes, that includes the time when my dad made us all dress up- I did the whole hair and dress and stockings- and then brought us out for Christmas dinner at a hawker centre. We had porridge.)

- Well. Now, we have 3 (Yes. Not one, not two. But 3) turkeys in the house.
- My dad tried to donate a turkey to a vegetarian old folks' home.
- I spent my day buying my brother's uniform and then ironing. Now I'm going to reheat the dry turkey from Jack's Place.

Oh did I mention? Freaking homework undone. Which is why... I really just need time and space to finish my essays. Which won't happen. I'll be working into the wee Christmas hours to do that...

More later about how fucked my Christmas is.
For now, like I said, forgive me.

(edit: later in the night)
Sigh. I am like 2kg heavier since 5.11 pm. Its like 9.30 now. I have turkey and potatoes and sausages and mushrooms and log cake in me.
Oh well. My temper tantrum is over. Christmas is here in... 3 hours plus. A day of love and peace and joy. So I will forgive (almost) anyone anything.

Siblings and cousins say I have to gain perspective. About my homework and essays and all. They always manage to convince me to do stupid things like throw my homework list to the wind and just heck it till Christmas is over.

But regarding my Christmas spirit... too little too late. I feel like shopping and wrapping and baking now. But uhm... too late! So yea... I'll just feel happy inside for 12 hours or so before I drag myself up and dive into work.

Oh. And yesterday was not as bad as expected. I'm not really a party person and I have never made a friend in under 2 hours. So I expected it to be bad... Haha. It wasn't. Or rather I'm used to being left out. So... nothing new.

Crappy Christmas for my crappiest year so far. Very apt.
I'm keeping my hopes up for next year though. Supposedly 365 days later, I'd have overcome the toughest exam I will ever sit for.
So for me.... Christmas is coming. But in 365 days. Tomorrow is nothing. To all the rest of you normal and happy people: Have a good one. Merry Christmas.