Tonight, I am:
1) A little sad: Rah. That the Games are over. Phelps! My inspiration- 8 Gold Medals, enough said. 2012 London. I am looking forward.
2) A little stressed: Because prelims start in... erm. Less than 10 hours. And as usual, I am unprepared and also unprepared to take the fall.
Shit.
Last exams in VJ. I remember last year wanting to be at this moment. And now that its here, I'm just like "let's get this over and done with". I can't take it anymore. If I crash here and now, I know it'll fucking hurt and I'll cry. But let it be now. Let it be now and not later.
I really cannot wait for my research papers to be bound and sent and then I can return to my other ll units which I have been neglecting for the longest time- which will explain said state of unpreparedness for last exams in VJ.
3) A little frustrated with myself and the complete lack of discipline...
4) Very tired: from everything. From trying to work and finish my research papers at the same time. From acting like I am not breaking down in front of my parents (lest they decide I need to stop working or something- god forbid). From trying and trying not to freaking let people down (because its the worst feeling in the world).

Ok. Erm. People, this is not the big one yet. So keep calm and give it a good shot.

This is ridiculous. I mean. It's my 12th year in formal education. I've taken at least 4 exams per year, 2 big national ones... and the night before the first paper always still feels exactly the same. The butterflies, the stomach aches, the jerking awake 3 seconds before my alarm rings... I thought I'd be used to it by now.