... I can't explain the depth of my self-hate.
Right this very moment.

I screwed Great Expectations. Worse than you can imagine. Blabbering bullshit for 4 pages.
I hate it that I could do Malfi. I could because I studied, I was prepared... And I didn't do the same for Great Ex. I just didn't. I had the time. I just did't.

If I get a B... It's because I chose to.

I just. Hate all this crap.
I really want this to be over. Just over. I don't care anymore.

I really really don't.

6 papers so far. And frankly, I'm only confident in 1.
I hate how this has gone, I hate how I've handled it, I hate how everything is my fault, it was coming for a while, I could see it but I just didn't stop it.

I know I'm not even making much sense. But I have to just let it out. It's been bubbling under for 6 papers.

I hate disappointment. I hate self-disappointment.

I just... wish it was over so I can get my sorry ass to nus and just... yea.

I hate myself. I feel like I'm 15 again. And it sucks.

No you know what. I'm not even doing a good job explaining this.