A few points:
- Sorry to people I've kinda pissed off these few days. (I knew since the 20th.)
- Sorry to people I've "kinda" lied to about this because I didnt want to talk about it. I guess I was... ashamed; or the hurt too raw.
And mostly:
- Sorry: to the people who believed wholeheartedly in me. I know you will know this without me having to say it; but here it is anyway: I tried my best. I hope, in some other way, I'll make you proud.

Last words: Disappointment for sure. I guess I didnt realise how much I really wanted it. But oh well. At this point, having done my best, I can only shrug it off.

Uh. Worst Christmas yet. It's an appropriate ending to a shitty year.

Uh. I took the comment function off. Because this is exactly the kind of socially awkward tension causing announcement that one should avoid at all costs. I expect no one really knows what to say.

Now the real shit: how to tell the parents.
Talk about a suicide mission. Its ok I suppose. Already in the mood. Got nothing to lose.

Uh... Happy holidays? Haha.