It really sucks that I am sick now. It really does. But this is obligatory. And I just woke from a now regular 5 hour afternoon nap. So here we go again...

0h8 in replay:
1) Am thankful for family:Mummy: for waking me up everyday, for reminding me to get sleep. Dad: for ironing, for advice, for nagging. Wheezes:for allowing me to bully you everyday after a long day in school. Sis: for uh… sisterhood. Hard to explain. I swear, if we weren’t born in the same family, we’d never meet; and if we did, we’d hate each other’s guts. But as it turns out, we were. Haha.

Somewhere in between: Teachers.
For the lack of a better word, I have been truly blessed in VJ. I cannot say thank you enough for making my subjects such absolute joys. You have touched my life in a very special way.

2) Am thankful for friends: who listened to my bitchy whiney, who nodded along anyway as I was whining “I’m gonna fail/ I’m so screwed.” Thank you also, for those who smacked me and said “you’re gonna be fine you idiot.” I know you love/ understand me too.
07A11: I would have survived college without you all. But it wouldn’t have been half as bearable. Thank you for laughs around the stone tables, mindblowingly funny conversations about sex. Am eternally indebted to Friends Of The Yichi for keeping me sane in a very sucky year.

3) Academia: The A levels, regardless of the results, will remain an academic regret. I don’t deny I worked. By effort alone, I’d probably deserve an A. It wasn’t blind mugging. I had method in my madness; I studied smart. It was a systemic progress which I charted and executed.
But the painful truth was I didn’t bring my A game to my A levels. I didn’t do my best. I had it all; but I didn’t give it to them.
So now… I’m living on a prayer? I know there’s nothing to do but wait and hope for the best.
Oh oh.
On results day… please I would like to be alone. I don’t cry in company. It makes people uncomfortable.

2 research papers! Aye. Much of this blog has been filled with ranting and whining about having to finally do it. Haha. Well. Not exactly proud. But oh well.

5) VJ freeeeeee: I graduated. I'm so... relieved. I knew it would be the worst days of my life (so far). And hey, it was. But I made it! That counts for something right...

6) On the Love Front: Yet another year of regrets, silence and lies. I know I make myself miserable. Need to grow self confidence and balls (by this I mean courage. HAHA.)

7) As a person: Well you know, we all grow through shit. I can't say much about this. But disappointments have helped me become stronger. I don't cry as much anymore.

Oh9
Want to do:
1) Learn Driving
2) Explore teaching as a career: we shall see how SR treats me.
3) Be a better friend: will stop drifting from people. Its a rather deeply rooted habit you know. And completely natural. I don't try, it just happens!
This also entails:
- Spending time with people: hard as this is for me. Hello anyone who likes spending a lot of time sipping coffee and reading and talking trash, I'm available.
- Remember birthdays: I am so shitty with this.
4) Embrace life: I feel like I'm getting old too soon (oh don't we all). I feel like I haven't lived (uh huh, don't we all). The difference is, its actually pretty damn true for me. =(. Will grab life by the horns in oh9. Watch me!
List of Things-to-do:
- Rollercoaster
- The Reverse Bungee at least
- More clubbing
- Travel without the parents: Hopefully Japan. But anywhere is fine. Haha.
I hope the twilight of my teenage will kick ass. I know its in my hands more than any one else's.
5) Will sign up and stick with 4 sports ccas regardless of which university I make it to. Really enough said on this topic.
6) Read a lot more: during exam years, my reading takes a real hit. So I intend to read tons and tons.
7) Neater. Room.
8) Learn to tell the truth when it matters
9) Never to be mean when I'm doing it

Probably will do:
1) Phail driving practical at least once.
2) Whine a lot about the SR job.
3) Still a shitty friend who spends no time with others and forgets birthdays.
4) Chicken out of Rollercoaster and the Bungee.
5) Probably just 2 ccas. Haha. I am a nerd, first and foremost a student. Haha.
6) Yay. This will probably happen.
7) HAHA.
8) and 9) are real challenges I tell you. I suppose the best practical promise I can make is that I'll think before I speak. And if it really matters, I'll make a real effort.

2008 was pretty... sucky. I wish there was a gentler way to put it. But there isn't. Frankly 18 sucked a lot. It was a year of disappointments, late night mugging, regrets, pain, tears... I could go on forever.

2009 doesn't have to do much to better it. But I always hate starting out somewhere new. New environment, new people etc. The truth is, I'm horribly bad with change. I hanker after a more comfortable past. Something familiar I suppose. Like a favourite arm chair that seems to have moulded itself around you.
But then again, a new environment, university, invites me to a fresh start, a clean slate. That's always comforting. Like a fresh clean piece of paper, the pen's in my hand.

So that's what life is. An eternal "To be continued" before we move on to the "Great Perhaps".