Yes I'm stressed again. I can't really explain it. I just generally feel I'm not coping well again. And it is vexing because I thought it was just... school and exams. But as it turns out, no. I'm just the sort of person who has trouble juggling stuff in her life apparently.

Rewind: The STB interview.
Firstly I was so freaking early I was waiting for 1 full hour. And I was so nervous and he was so nice in offering me water that I drank (to quote Cheryl) like a fish. So uhm... when my turn came along, I was urgent.
...And then of course. I demonstrated how really bad I am at interviews.
Uhm. But I made it to the second round. And I shall simply shut up, try my best and see how it goes.

So next week is SIA and STB.
Deep breaths.

I am currently going through a depression-about-work stage. I really am. I feel like I'm putting in the effort. But nothing's happening. It's just so depressing. I'm in despair. I'm at my wits end about how to improve things with them.
This explains my... jerking awake at 4am and just thinking "I should quit". It was random. Not a particularly bad day or anything. I just... felt that way.

I feel like life is spinning out of control.

AND
My parents are delusional. I've done everything except stop short and tell them "hey I have a boyfriend". But they refuse to reach the logical conclusion.
So. I suppose. When I get stressed enough. It'll be one of the things that just bursts out of me. Together with "I've been dating since I'm 15" and "yes I drink when I club" and "yes I've been kissed".

...I feel like my students when I type things like that. Parent problems and angsty rants. And it only reminds me that we are in the same stage of life. I'm just post A levels and they're pre A levels. Small difference. Which brings me back to how unqualified and incompetent I feel...

Okaaaaaaaay.
Deep breath.
I can do this.