... Even though I like history more, I can't help feeling a bit like I'm running away from a more difficult choice. I know its stupid to think like that. But there you have it. And I hate the feeling. I feel like a coward.

So I'm back to Square 1 on like 2 hours of sleep from yesterday. (I'm getting wayyy too old for this.)

Then there's the pride implication. Without insulting history, I really believe philosophy would be a much harder degree to complete, much less get first class honours in. In fact, I think if I major in philosophy, I'll have to readjust my aims to a healthy second class (I dare not type "upper")... I don't know why but it makes me want to try and "die trying". Some hollow honour (oh haha pun) in an attempt, even a futile attempt.

History:
- I like it more. I really do.
- I'm better at it. It'll be more doable to achieve what I came to university for.

Philosophy:
- I'm not so good at it. (Maybe cause of me. But maybe cause it's harder.)
- I like it, but in a different way and you could say less than history.

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