Year 1 Semester 1: The Major Dilemma
Year 1 Semester 2: Maybe I am a philosophy major
Year 2 Semester 1: The Semester of Six Modules
Year 2 Semester 2: Maybe I'm just not good enough for first class honours, history or philosophy.

I'm exhausted. I can't sentence this semester until it's over. But right now that's what it feels like.

I'm very overwhelmed, more than usual. I am tired. Like... to the point where I just.. stare at my pile of work and shake my head silently to myself. I'm tired. And it would be okay if I felt like I was meeting my goals. But I am not. I am failing. Again.

Overall, I feel like I'm not managing. It's hard.

The point is. I am really, very stressed. It's very hard for me to describe. People generally don't believe it. I have resolved to pretty much stop talking about it.

People see me, they comment that I look tired, I give that on-you-know-how-it-is face. They go oh I'm sure you'll be fine.

I know it's stupid. But my definition of soulmate, is someone who would genuinely believe me when I say I am drowning. Because it's real to me anyhow. What do you tell someone who has an irrational fear? "It's actually not real, it's just in your head, you're okay."

I don't know what I am saying anymore... And my tightly scheduled break is over. So... yeah.

Also, Bryan is not here this weekend. Some people have chocolate or follow dramas or go clubbing and get high. My indulgence is hour long conversations with Bryan. And he is not here.

Shall quote my 15 year old self: life sux.