2 weeks into summer break. Been rotting away.

I have a lot of things on my mind tonight. Mainly about people/ friends/ friendship etc. But there are never answers to these questions and so I will give up wandering around in circles in my mind.

I remember a (stupid) trend when I was 12. People would have these notebooks and they'd get their classmates/ friends to write an entry in them, consisting of basic information (name, birthday, favourite colour, movie...) and very bad poetry (of the Roses are Red quality). And usually there'd be something about "Friends Forever". On hindsight, the promise is funny. Because I'm pretty sure they never knew what the phrase meant and just didn't understand how difficult it would be.

What are the animals that mate for life? That's amazing. I don't think most of us are built to make promises like "friends forever" or "death till us part".

I acknowledge the highly likely transient nature of many of the relationships that are important to me today. But it makes me sad still.

Gonna sleep it off.

Also, random flashes of fear and panic as my mind drifts to May 30. I am torn between despairing and shrugging off bad results as expected and trying to convince myself that I did not bomb.