So... Bryan and I broke up last night. It feels real now. It's a messy story. I don't really want to go into it here or now.

I am sad because we had something good, we really did. (Yes, it took a while becoming good, but we got there in the end.) And then I went to Paris and it went away. I think we've both been living in a ghost of a dream since then, trying to believe or act like everything's the same when it isn't. He said nothing was broken. Baby, you were wrong and I think you knew it and I knew it too but neither of us wanted to believe that our good thing was gone.

So, in short, I'm sad because once upon a time, I plausibly believed we would end up together, happily. And I think you did too. And it went away because of something so stupid, so meaningless and so utterly nothing. We lost something good for nothing. How horrid for us both.

My eyes ache from the crying. And I have a persistent sour feeling at the back of my throat. I have pressing messages to answer- how are you messages- do you need anything messages. I must get over this soon; I have an honours thesis to tackle. Dry laugh. It's probably apt I fell in love with my topic in the last post. My consolation gift, my next relationship, just before I let this one go.