I woke up with swollen eyes. And then I made tea and have been going through the digital newspapers.

Some people "purge"- as in, throw away every single thing, delete all contacts. The first is difficult if you have together for close to 4 years. Too many things with too many memories, multi-layered and bittersweet now. The second is unthinkable, to me.

I feel alone. But that has always had a peaceful connotation for me. I'm coming round to it again. I close my eyes and I'm standing in front of St Peter's in the morning light.