Right now, I feel rushed. A lot of things have happened- and I have no time to sit down and digest them all and put them into words.

I got the thing I came to NUS for, first class honours. Reactions from 4 June have spanned from "fuck yeah" to "thank god" to "wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee". Mostly, I irritated my sister by periodically bursting out "I can't believe I got first class honours!"

Left my heart in half a dozen European cities again. Dubrovnik was really paradise on earth- every click of the camera postcard worthy. Santorini is my new dream home. Olympia was so special. Milan was important for me to see.

The opportunity to travel for leisure is so precious because it puts you in a place and state of mind to reflect and contemplate that perhaps home and normal life simply discourage. Here's my gem of an insight I squeezed out after so many years: I think academia may be my calling and I'm willing to do what it takes to try and make it happen. I have a quiet joy just thinking about that. Maybe I won't make it and maybe I'll be mediocre. But this is a gamble worth making, this is a struggle I want. And at least I know that now. Feels like a tiny (mental) step.

Back to work: so much rush, so many emails. A job offer.

Markers reports: Like getting stabbed in the heart and twisting the knife. It's painful because I believe every word in my afterword. I'll get over it I'm sure. But in mourning for now. Yeap. Chocolate and tears- the works.

Flying off on Sunday- don't even know what's waiting for me on the other end.

Life is happening to me, fast and furious since I left university. I am intermittently euphoric, challenged, stressed like hell, down in the dumps and dog tired. Is this what the next 40 years are like?