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Moat

It's a good thing I'm not in charge of anyone else's life, because I'm terrible at making decisions. I look around and see people making hard choices, moving forward, doing things that are hard, and I have nothing but admiration for them. I'm a floater, myself. I take the easy path until the monster jumps out in front of me. Then I run the other way, no decision required. I just go with the flow. I coast.

Maybe my life is just easier than it is for those whose lives are overpopulated. I made a little space for myself, and I decide who gets in, and I decide how far outside the perimeter I roam. It's not an exciting way to live, but from what I've seen, exciting is overrated. I won't find myself out on a limb if I don't climb the tree. If you can't swim, you probably shouldn't try to walk on water. Odds are against you.

Some people probably find life better out on that limb. Some people can probably swim, or think they can. If that's the case, they might as well find out whether or not they can walk on water. It's easier with nothing to lose. That's just not for me.

My way isn't for everybody. It might not even be the right way for me, but it's the way I've chosen and it's working. I know it's working because I'm still standing, and I'm still in one piece. There are days when I feel as if I might fall. There are days I seem to be falling apart. But so far I've held it together, and that tells me what I need to know about the course I've chosen.

That doesn't mean my life is uncomplicated. I've never tried to build an impenetrable wall around myself. It's more like a moat, and you have to really want to get in because I hardly ever lower the drawbridge. It's a maze that only the truly committed can solve. I've been lucky from time to time that people have made it across the moat or through the maze. These have invariably been people who have made my life better, and I'm invariably grateful that they've made the effort.


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