CaySwann
A "G-Rated Journal" That Even My Mother Can Read (because she does!)

Effervescence is a state of mind. It's about choosing to bring sunshine to the day.
Every person I meet matters.

If it's written down, I know it (If it's not written down, I don't know it)
If it's color-coded, I understand it (If it's not color-coded, I don't understand it)


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Mood:
Introspective

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Daddy-do and me, 2010


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Misplacing a Decade or So

Wed Aug 17 - Again, making coffee in the morning was so relaxing. Funny, that I would think caffeine is a relaxing item? I didn't have the time to actually make breakfast, but I still had some breakfast bars in the pantry, so it was once again easy to "race" out the door without feeling like I was racing.

We were given a day "off" in between our two days in class, so that we could stay caught up on work. Strangely, although I got derailed from my normal work deadlines, the material I spent my time on today was really rewarding. You know how sometimes you accidentally get side-tracked and then it turns out that the detour was really worth the trip afterall? That's how I felt today. I spent time to evaluate the test I wrote last week, came up with some improvements, and came up with some *great* documentation of the project and process itself, so it felt really rewarding.
* * * * *

Lilya's husband happens to work on boats/ships, etc., and so when he took a 2-3 week job in New York, I gave him a ride to the airport and took care of his truck while he was gone. This evening he was able to fly back home, so I got several calls all day with "I'll be in tonight!" and "I'm on the plane!" and "I've landed but we're just sitting here on the tarmac not moving!" ... all of which I had to just smile and nod. I know that his excitement in coming home is not to see me, but to see me pick him up, take him to his truck, and let him race home to his wife. *grin*

On top of picking up Nate, it was also one of those evenings when your friend calls and says, "Please, I have to get out of my house before I kill my best friend, may I come over and hang out with you instead?" *laughs good naturedly* To which I'm prompted to reply, "Yes, dear of course, and can I make you some dinner?"

So before I picked up Nate, I stopped off at the grocery store for some stir-fry fixin's, and then circled the airport pickup loop only three times before Nate made it out to the sidewalk. Took him home, and there was Rafe, sitting on the door step. Even though the house was lit up, he hadn't knocked to go inside. Seems he misunderstood my roomie "having someone over" when really she had a friend of ours over as a massage client. So suddenly our apartment was filled with three very good-looking gentlemen. *hee hee* Nate relaxed for a minute, having just flown across the county. Gary got his energy back together after a scheduled massage. And Rafe collapsed in front of my laptop to deal with the emails from an annoying boss while I went to work on dinner for Rafe and I. The other two guys left, Melissa headed to sleep, and we were just sitting down to dinner. What schedules we keep!

(We had a lovely stir-fry of chicken, shallots, leeks, mushroom, carrots, zucchini, and summer squash with brown rice, in case you were wondering. *grin*)
* * * * *

There are times when I wonder if I haven't set my life back ten years. I mean, right out of college I got married, was a step-Mom, raised grade-school aged children, and by the time they hit jr. high, I was divorcing their dad. I miss the kids a ton, but at the same time my memories of them are somewhat frozen in time. I haven't gotten to experience kids in jr. high or high school. I have no idea what that feels like. And in some ways, that strangely parallels my own experience, since my parents divorced when I was in 7th grade.

Then in the past five calendar years I've lived at seven different addresses. I finally feel like the whirlwind has settled, and I'm in a wonderful healthy longer-term apartment/roommate arrangement. (Not that I didn't adore living with Dayle and Ken! But that was never intended to be a long-term thing.)

Now that I'm settled again, I feel like the clock was reset, like I'm right back at "just out of college" again. Melissa has her bachelor's and master's, and now is starting her career track. I've finished college, had this weird interlude, and back to the right career track. It's almost like I misplaced 12 years of my life. I don't regret any of the experiences, but I certainly don't always feel my age. Heck, even my hair is short again for the first time since 12 years ago. When it's hot out, I even pull my hair up in these little 3-inch ponytails (I know! I know!), which confounds my age just that much more. My peers who are single are all mid-20's, whereas my peers who are my age are all married or married with kids.

Do I get a "do-over" card? Can I qualify for one of those mid-20's people just setting up their life after college now? Or can my friends help me pretend that's who I am sometimes? *wink*
* * * * *

Recently Listened to: Gravity Willing "Requia"


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