CaySwann
A "G-Rated Journal" That Even My Mother Can Read (because she does!)

Effervescence is a state of mind. It's about choosing to bring sunshine to the day.
Every person I meet matters.

If it's written down, I know it (If it's not written down, I don't know it)
If it's color-coded, I understand it (If it's not color-coded, I don't understand it)


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Today's Feature Image:

Daddy-do and me, 2010


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Parties and Epiphanies

Obligatory silliness to open the journal entry: Weird Al's latest music video "White and Nerdy" ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xEzGIuY7kw Can I just say I either identify with or know people for whom this was written?! *giggle snort*

Also, I think YouTube can be really addictive! My latest new favorite musical clip is from Celebrity Duets, where Jai Rodriguez sings with Patti LeBelle, in this rendition of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" — http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VadRQMqCAiI Now, I tried watching the show itself, but I am NOT a fan of shows like this. I found the show hideous and atrocious, but occasionally a song or two amazing. This one brought me to tears by the end. Some of that is the artists, and some is just that I adore this song. (Jai hits a beautiful high note near the end that blew my socks off.) I hope if this is your cup of tea, that you enjoy it too.

* * * * *
Sat Oct 7: Party at the Spade - Okay, short story about alcohol. If you don't drink anything, skip ahead. I hardly drink much at all, but occasionally there is a flavor I enjoy and an environment in which I can safely drink. The Inn is one of those places where I've found one or two drinks that were actually yummy. A friend of ours is named Giacomo, and they've created and named a drink after him. The "Giacomo's Pommel Strike" might hit you like the pommel of a sword in the forehead. It's made of rum, coffee liquor, and Godiva (chocolate) liquor, and tastes best if you drink it all quickly. (Otherwise you're sipping straight rum floating on top of coffee and chocolate.) I was bringing the rum leftovers from our blender party, so the Pommel Strikes were being made as soon as I arrived. After the pommel strikes and some port, it was definitely an evening for spending the night, not for driving. There were probably a half-dozen of us who stayed overnight, and quite a few more than a dozen at the party itself.

It was the closest thing to partying at war (the camping event that was cancelled) since we had the outdoor fire circle, singing, a little bit of drumming (by the Captain), yummy drinks, yummy food, and a sleep-over that was a little bit like camping out at the Inn. I helped put out the fire itself, so my clothing smelled like campfire. A success!

Sun Oct 8: Breakfast Date, Curia, early sleep - Both Meala and I are morning people, so we went shopping long before anyone else was awake. We picked up bagels, cream cheese, orange juice, coffee (one of those large to-go boxes from Starbucks, and beef-bacon (since many of the people who slept over do not eat pork). After laying out a breakfast spread, I left Meala to serve everyone food and I hit the road to head home for a different kind of breakfast date.

My friend Eric walked in the charity walk at Disneyland to benefit the Children's Hospital of Orange County (CHOC). So, he wanted to meet for breakfast after the walk, as a little bit of a thank you for supporting him and just to catch up socially. So I needed to head home, shower, dress, and meet him at my favorite deli for breakfast (or lunch for him, since he'd been up since 3 am to do the walk). We had a wonderful morning chatting and laughing and enjoying a meal together.

Then it was off to the park for a "Curia" with my local Barony. It was basically a Question and Answer with the new Baron and Baroness, to cover such things as their long- and short-range goals for the group, how to have effective membership recruitment in the club, how to host effect classes for newcomers, and other such topics. I had volunteered to be their scribe for the meeting and spent the entire time taking copious notes. I still need to type them up to publish them to the group, but it was a great way to offer them one of my talents. Over a dozen of us went to Starbucks afterwards, to warm up over coffee (since the winds had kicked up and I was personally freezing at the end of the meeting).

Once I finally got home, had a small bite for dinner, I was ready to pass out at 8 pm. I'd only gotten about 2.5 hours "real" sleep at the sleepover, and 3 hours of just relaxing and quietly chatting with Meala until the sun was up. So I was just plain exhausted. I did have a long phone conversation with a friend who's going through some relationship drama, and promptly passed out as soon as I hung up the phone.

Mon Oct 9: Day of Epiphanies - Three major epiphanies today really made everything so clear and wonderful. Let's see, how can I sum them up? The first is really about me and how I see the world, and where I'm at in life right now. The other two were observations that improved some things for me and a close friend.

Epiphany (1) — People should be jealous of how cool it is that I'm as single and carefree as I am. How wonderful it is that I can just spend my money any way I like, that I can spend my time with friends any way I like. No one to answer to (in that way), and friends with whom I can enjoy my time and my money.

I made several significant mistakes over this past year, trying to figure out how to catch someone's attention or affection, when at the same time I was locking down my inner self so that there was no fear of rejection. (Pardon the esoteric tangent for a moment.) In figuring out the mistakes during September, it dawned on me that loving and adoring "a thousand people" equally with the hopes that "that one over there" would notice, does not have the affect I was looking for. To love the thousand to gain the attention of the one means that the single person over there probably cannot notice I care about them more than anyone else, because to that person over there, it looks like I love all thousand friends equally.

So yesterday it dawned on me that it's okay to love the thousand equally and lavish extra affection and time and energy on the dozen that come up to the top. Have fun. Care for everyone the way I enjoy doing. Then as my best friends and household and family bubble to the top, what a treat that I can spoil them rotten and enjoy every moment of it.

So, that epiphany explained, there are several dozen that keep bubbling to the top of my favorite friends and household. And I'm so excited that lavishing silliness on my friends has no other meaning than people should be jealous of how cool it is to be as single as I am, because I'm enjoying doing whatever I want to spoil all my friends and love every moment of it.

So for those of you who laugh about how to tease me when I whine about being single... I have the sneaking suspicion you're not likely to hear me complaining anymore. I'm not making any sweeping promises, but wow do I feel pretty darn secure in finally seeing being single as a Major Blessing. (I often think of how my sister admires the way I've lived my life, and I see my blessing through her eyes and really smile at it all.)

Epiphany (2) — Finally being able to categorize one of the friendships that means the most in my life: It's like we're ex-girlfriend/boyfriend who became best friends later/afterwards. I've never had an ex- that I got to be best friends with afterwards, and it *SO* explains the friendship we have now. And wow, am I thankful that this is how our friendship has turned out. He's one of the most valuable friends I have, and we finally talked out everything over the past year for hours and hours on Monday night, late at a Denny's.

Epiphany (3) — This one was just an idea that I handed off to a friend. He was having some mental blocks about how to understand another friend, and it dawned on me that both of us are eldest children, so we rarely see anyone as our older brother or older sister. If my friend would just try picturing his friend like his older brother, maybe this would clear up some of the conversational blocks. My friend thinks this is a *fabulous* idea, and that's why I had to add it into my list of Epiphanies for the day.

On a narrative note: I went up to my home shire to pick up my mail. (I really REALLY need to get a mailbox down here.) I had a *wonderful* dinner with Lisa, where we got to catch up on her kids, her newest grand-baby, her moving plans, some of my adventures this summer/fall, some of my epiphanies, and other topics. Then I met with Saul for coffee and we got to chat in a way like we haven't in months and months and months. It is *so* nice to finally babble with one another about things we'd kept buried out of concern for one another, and to find out that we have the kind of friendship that can talk about *anything.*

Tue Oct 10: Bits and Plans - So today was about catching up on sleep (again), work, errands, little tasks, and computer work. My bassist had to work late again, so there was no band, which gave me the freedom to have take out Chinese food with my roomie, and then hang out with Jeff, Adjin, and Saul for the evening. We were planning to watch a movie together, but we ended up just chatting for hours and being silly. Adrienne's sister is getting married this weekend, so we picked out jewelry to go with her outfit, and I pinned the hem on her floor-length skirt. She's almost done with her amazing hand-made wedding gift, which is incredibly impressive.

And finally, I'm in the middle of some event scheming that is really exciting, which I'll tell you about publically much later. If you happen to know about my scheming plan, do NOT mention it on my comments section. If you need to know, let's talk off list in personal emails, hmm? And everyone else, you'll find out later. It's pretty cool, and it goes hand-in-hand with Epiphany #1 above: What a blessing that my life is the way it is. It rocks. *grin*

* * * * *
Today's Blessing That I'm Thankful For: Lisa Maguire. Our friendship has lasted the test of time, and wow am I thankful we still have so much fun together.

Weight Loss This Week:
Sun 10/8 - 18.4 lbs. My personal best was 21 lbs, then I'd waffled up and down between 10-15 lbs, and lately finally started dropping again.
Mon 10/9 - 19.0 lbs (down -0.6 from Sun)
Tue 10/10 - 20.6 lbs (down -1.6 from Mon) I'm less than half a pound from my personal best again, and it's all about food and portion control right now. I'm still not exercising yet, but still thinking about how to squeeze it into my schedule. But being at 20+ lbs loss again is really encouraging. And there are more rings that no longer fit me (they are too loose on my fingers) so I'm wearing them on different fingers now. Yippee.


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