“We live in deeds, not years; In thoughts not breaths; In feelings, not in figures on a dial. We should count time by heart throbs…” Aristotle


Once upon a time in a galaxy far far away… Oh wait wrong story! Once upon a time you could walk down the street and strangers would tip their hat, say “good day” or you could even walk into a grocery store and have the door opened for you (if you were a woman) rather than be ignored on the street with shadowed glances and even at your cutest wearing your best shoes not have the door slammed in your face. Coming from a reasonably attractive girl with incredible sense in shoes, I am surprised when I actually do have a gentleman open the door for me. Or for that matter when eye contact is made outside of my office or known crowd there is a smile behind it! Didn’t everyone’s grandmothers tell them “If you meet someone who has lost their smile, give them one of yours.”?

At the mention of a dear friend I decided it was about time for me to write about those small things you do in a day that can have a profound impact on the world around you. Plus, it gave me an opportunity to be sarcastic which in case you all haven’t noticed I have not done in quite some time. Why stop now? There is a pivotal moment, a nano-second of choice when you ineract with the world around you or another person, when A.) You could extend a bit of courtesy, i.e. smile, open a door, allow someone pull out in traffic, or even just think a kind though when you see someone who looks down. or option B.) Ignore what your grandmother taught you, hurry through a door in front of the old lady and not wait for her, pedal to the metal when someone has their blinker on or ignore poverty and misery around you without so much as a second thought. Now I ask you; which of the two categories above do you fall into the majority of the time?

Now back to my quote of choice by a hero of philosophy Aristotle. We do live in deeds, thoughts and feelings. What is left when you leave your physical body? Memories are left; the deeds you did, regardless of how small they may be do not go unnoticed. I knew a great man once, who had a heart of gold. He gave in both small deeds and large not because it made him feel like a better person, he gave because he had a full cup. He always had a moment to make someone laugh, crack a joke, open a door, smile, make conversation and give to the less fortunate than himself. To mention a demonstration of his giving – he once bought a homeless man dinner, now he didn’t just hand him the five bucks and walk off. He took him to the restaurant, and sat with him while the man ate his dinner to talk. Not only did he gift the man a meal, but also he showed a courtesy for a spirit that had been forgotten by the larger face of society. When someone asked why he did it? He said because in life you never know when that could be you and you might need that small courtesy to make you feel whole again.

I do not measure up to that standard, few people do. But it is within all of us to be that capable – and I’d like to take this time to make a special thank you in loving memory of whom that man was…. My dad, Bill Firmin, who’s loving memory and courtesy, is certainly not forgotten by any of us.