This aloneness is worth a thousand lives
This freedom is worth more than all the lands of the earth
To be one with the truth for just a moment is worth more than the world and life itself.
Mevlana Rumi

Well happy uh… Groundhog Day? Seems our furry lil’friends seem a wee bit confused, one fled from his shadow the other did not. If you live in Alaska it really doesn’t matter anyways because confused furry critter or not you have six more weeks of winter if you’re LUCKY! It’s a pointless holiday up here in Alaska, they ought to say if you haven’t strangled anyone for stupid driving yet, or have spend a total of a small fortune on keeping your skin from being fish belly white at a tanning salon --- guess what you STILL have more than six weeks of winter left stupid! Let's call it Alaska Will See Below Zero for Another Two Months Day?

Whew now that all that sarcasm and rage is done with guess why I’m so fired up? ASIDE from it taking three and a half hours for me to get to work this morning setting a personal record? Because my fair friends it’s an all day Aries moon, it’s a fire sign, it’s a stubborn sign (not nearly as stubborn as a Cap though) and it’s also… (drumroll please) the last day before Venus finishes it’s retrograde! What does this mean you ask? It means that finally after several months of wallowing in self pity and remorse (some of us more than others) you might peek out from under your down comforter and join the rest of productive society. Because just in time for the heart holiday, everyone wearing pink or red (did you not notice the girly undertone of my page?), and chicks getting flowers delivered by the vaseful to your floor, Valentines Day is RIGHT around the corner. I will don my pink but I will not be a reciprocant of flowers, I've gotten them twice in my life from men, once from a letcherous old man and once because he f*cked up. :) Not too fond of them after that!

Let’s see how have I spent the last several months? On by butt, in varying modes of depression, always cranky, feeling loathful of self, dowright moody and constatly hungry. Yep that pretty much sums it up for me. What is one thing that I’ve been lacking (aside from having abs like Gwen Stefani and a body like Gisele!) you ask? Self Reliance… Self reliance can make or break you in this world as all you came here with is yourself, I know better than anyone that when I’m down so low I can hardly see the bottom of my own stiletto boots that I’m also the only one that can pick me up. I can blame the planets, the snow, and just about everyone in Alaska right now will agree I can also blame the darkness. But really I’m the one sitting in the seat of power, it’s all me.

So while the fire is slowly burning off the fog off the Neptune and Pisces influence of the last few days I’m pondering what I can do to improve current thought patterns in my own mind and motivating myself to own up to a higher plain, I had better cause for a while there I was one step ahead of a Neanderthal and I hate that my knuckles get dirty. As Mevlana Rumi states in the quote above being one with truth is beyond price. How about being one enough with your truth to be self reliant?

So before I start jumping up and down because I feel beautiful again I am going to stop, sit still and remind myself that no matter what I always was because I came here this way and that there is nothing at all that can change that except for my own perception.
I’m also going to soak it all up because Valentines Day is right around the corner and you never know who is falling in love with your smile, just because your bitter about roses does not mean you can't turn your thoughts inward and cultivate something beautiful inside as well!