A Bit of Randomness
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. --Diane Arbus
Mood:
Confused
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New Year's Eve - Part Two
So now New Year's Eve is in two days. And we have yet to make a decision about what we're doing.
We're both having issues with past celebrations coming to haunt us (for instance, my ex wanting to stay in the bar all night with people she barely knew instead of coming to the party that we had mutually decided to go to. And his ex dragging him across the city to several parties).
I don't really want to spend this NYE in a bar. Especially since we've found out that someone we don't know wants to rent the place out. Which means there will be 50-75 people in this smallish area. Not my idea of fun.
We can't spend NYE just the two of us because I've screwed up the two times we've tried that. The first time, E. planned a wonderful evening. It was movie romantic. And for whatever reason, I turned into Queen B****. No reason whatsoever. I just destroyed the night. The second time was me trying to make it up to him. However, complications from a recent surgery put me in the hospital the night before. I ended up in bed, asleep by 8pm on NYE. A situation a bit out of my control but still leaving us both gun-shy.
So now we're left with deciding between parties. And I hate that. I always feel like I'm choosing who among my friends means more to me. It's probably all in my head but I can't seem to get past my need to make everyone happy.
We're both having issues with past celebrations coming to haunt us (for instance, my ex wanting to stay in the bar all night with people she barely knew instead of coming to the party that we had mutually decided to go to. And his ex dragging him across the city to several parties).
I don't really want to spend this NYE in a bar. Especially since we've found out that someone we don't know wants to rent the place out. Which means there will be 50-75 people in this smallish area. Not my idea of fun.
We can't spend NYE just the two of us because I've screwed up the two times we've tried that. The first time, E. planned a wonderful evening. It was movie romantic. And for whatever reason, I turned into Queen B****. No reason whatsoever. I just destroyed the night. The second time was me trying to make it up to him. However, complications from a recent surgery put me in the hospital the night before. I ended up in bed, asleep by 8pm on NYE. A situation a bit out of my control but still leaving us both gun-shy.
So now we're left with deciding between parties. And I hate that. I always feel like I'm choosing who among my friends means more to me. It's probably all in my head but I can't seem to get past my need to make everyone happy.
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