I am restless.

There are sooo many things that I could be doing now and/or today and yet I can't seem to focus and act.

Things in my past seem to be winding to a conclusion while other events are finally gearing up to begin. And I sit here, looking at the walls of my house, trying to figure out what to do with all the time I don't really believe I have.

While talking with my mother I said something along the lines of, "maybe I'd feel differently if I had chosen this path" but in reality, that's one of the worst cop-outs. I can, at this point, choose I react. I can choose how I spend my time, how I teach Dylan what life is. And yet, as much as I know that, as much as I believe that I can take control and act instead of only reacting, I still can't seem to find the motivation.

Again, heavy sigh...