Earlier today Mary alerted me to some listserv discussion about book tours. I've never been on a book tour, unless you count driving to New Jersey and back for a convention panel, and I'm not likely to ever be sent on one. It'd probably be cheaper for our publisher to send all our readers to visit us. Not that we'd have floor space for all of them. A few might have to camp out in the back yard.

I gather that book tours are much to be desired but while they might be a sign of success, when I hear about them I can't help thinking about all the rock songs the Kinks wrote, complaining about the rigors of the road, the endless succession of hotel rooms, and airports and buses. The horror of motorway food. A lot of bands wrote songs like that and more than a few bands, or individual band members, finally refused to tour altogether.

And this despite there being certain compensations for traveling rock stars. What's a book tour but a concert tour without the screaming fans and groupies?

Nubile young ladies throw their bras at guitar heros. The only thing touring authors have thrust at them are unpublished manuscripts.

Or so I've heard. As I said, I've never been on a book tour. Not being the author of a bestseller isn't all bad.