Today I went grocery shopping. I enjoy buying food. It's the only time I spend money without feeling guilty. Hey, you have to eat!

For a vegetarian, though, the supermarket can be maddening. Searching for products that don't contain some trace of an animal can be as frustrating as scouring swamps for Ivory Billed Woodpeckers and such. But just as exciting when you find something new lurking hiding on the shelves. Wow! The mushroom gravy isn't made with broth! Bring on the mashed potatos!

They put meat in everything. Or at least enough meat to brag about it on the label. Spaghetti sauce -- with meat. Vegetarian vegetable soup -- now even beefier! Cheesecake -- with meat. Manufacturers seem concinvced that the average consumer figures it isn't food unless a dead cow's been waved over it.

I do buy meat for the cat. She's especially fond of turkey. However, lately I've noticed that the cat food makers aren't content to pack nothing but meat into the tins. Now it's Turkey Florentine...with fresh greens. I suppose before long I won't be able to find cat food without vegetables in it.