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2002-11-15 11:46 PM
New Poem--- The Digressor and Best of Slam picks
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pet peeve unleashed
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I just wrote this in the last hour... It is based on one of my pet peeves. Poets who use the transition... "ahh, but I digress..." in their poems. It is one of those cliche's that hasn't been exploited. Anyways... It is my first slam piece since Froggy.
The Digessor 11/15/02
Hi, I am Andy... but I digress
I don't know what Digress means
but I know what it is to digress food.
I don't know what digress means...
but I heard twenty other poets say it in their poems
so I will too... but I digress.
I not only Digress... I Dig Ress... I De Gress... I Recess. I Depress... I Regress...I drink Wheat Grass... I eat water cress...I Ingress... I Sugress... I Progress... I Pregress... I congress... I dorgress, I Dagress, I Dog-ress, I do gress, I -I -I -I-I-I-I I smoke gress. (INHALE IMAGINARY JOINT)
but I digress.
I guess it sounds cool... like I pity the fool... must have sounded cool
When Mr T, was MR Celebrity back in 1983
But I digress... even though I don't know what I am digressing from.
I never really had anything to say in the first place...
I only came to promote my enlarged penus.
I have an inflated cock flow I mean... I have a great cash flow.
I mean... I need to borrow some cash Yo-- you know.!..
but I digress
Besides... you don't really look like a prostitute... you look just like my mother...oh my god...You are my mother...
But I digress...
I will always Digress...
Because... I am the digressor.
Nobody can digress like I can
And when I say it... it sounds original and cool
and when everyone else says it... they are copying me
because I am the Original Digressor.... O.D.
Mother Fucker... That is me... Now step aside or I will digress over your shirt.
which is really a nice shirt.... I happen to like it a lot... I think you are really a nice person.... but I have some issues with your socks... haha... made you look.
But I digress... Because it sounds cool to say so...
now... stop using tired cliches in your poems and get a fucking life
but I digress... I actually liked your poem... it just needed...More Space... and
But I Die.... Gress.... No.-no-no.. I only gress for the occasion.
Okay... so on with the journal entry... I only slept 3 hours last night... and of course I had to teach today... so I schlepped my way through another day of teaching... probably boring my students to death... And then cursing myself in the process... then I stayed awake and made it over to Jitters for Bear's feature. Bear lives in the Palm Springs... area... and will be going out for the San Diego team next year... but he threw down some grade A political poetry for us. Afterwards... Karen, Bear and myself stood outside chatting about teaching freshman comp... then Mitch, Dawn, Bear and I went out for some soup and salad.
I read Bill Campana's Unleashed during the open mic, and then did Froggy Fight's Back. I think Froggy has become my new vogue piece. I mean... I did it at the neurotica/erotica slam and then did it at my spur of the moment feature on Thursday by demand... and I did it tonight for Mitch and Dawn who had stayed for the reading and the mike. Dawn hosts a roundtable monthly at the swanky Peppermill lounge on Las Vegas Blvd.
Since I was telling Bear about Bill Campana and Corbet Dean... and since Mitch used to live in Phoenix... I had to do a Campana piece. I would have done a Corbet Dean piece... but I didn't want to end the night on a serious note. Karen read one of her more serious themed pieces to close off the night.
Campana is the funniest guy out there...
my rankings of superlatives are based only on 2 years or so in the slam circle... but
Campana- Funniest Poet (Mas Intelegente y funny Por Favor
Stegosaurus--- Whackiest... but in a good way... He is also mas intelegente
Jeremy Richards- Whackest and dopest poet for the TS ELIOT DOES HIP HOP poem
Wildest shit--- goes to Angela Boyce's Valentine's Day
Most wicked- Taylor Mali's Political Poem
Group Piece- Urbana 2002
Best Voice- George Mckibbens
Best individual CD- Shappy
Best Duo CD- Lucy Anderton and Dawn Saylor
Best Team CD- Urbana 2002
Best Chapbook- Bill Campana- Pound for pound- BC has the funniest shit... and he is funny and serious at the same time.
Best hard book- Hal Sirowicz- Mother Said
Best Strategists... Danny Solis and Taylor Mali... even though neither of them get along that well... I have a suspicion that... they will be drinking iced tea on the porch as old men some day telling war stories.
Best Host- Nick Fox... I mean that just from his enthusiasm as a host, how he manages crisis, makes the slam something worth going to.
Best team- Flagstaff 2002 of course... Suzy Lafollette, Dom Flemons, Logan Phillips and John Kofonow... I am not biased, of course not!
I look forward to Chi Town.
I mean... I hope I get to go... because...
I don't know what to say...
Ah Fuck it!
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