hallawayjoe

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hallawayjoe
Andyland

2006-05-26 6:37 PM
new slamlike poems

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Passion of the Kerrrrist! 5/26/06
When Mel Gibson's The Passion Of The Christ Becomes A Broadway Musical, and they are dancing with whips and singing in aramaic, who will be Magdelene? Who Will be Mother Mary, and who will play Jesus and Pilate and Judas and all the other roles? Actors will no longer be hired, because they are too expensive, what, with their demands for things like food and stuff... robots will take over the stage, the upside is they won't have to try very hard to do the robot on the hip hop numbers, but what is a play without some human presence? Who would be the token Jesus? Why a He? Why not have a she, so she could play several female roles, and male roles, win a tony, then win an oscar, then run for president and rule the world!

I speak not of Hilary.... But of Cher. Oh Cher, most divine of all goddesses
with breasts that pillow out beyond the spheres of Brittany Spears

Cher, who has the breasts, even if they are artificial to nurse the christ child to be
the studly carpenter with the tools that our lord and savior was. is now, and is to be.

Cher, is not blasphemous, she is wholesome, even though she is a half breed, she is full moon, and stars and the sun. Her message has always been of the utmost virtue, from singing I got you babe with sonny Bono to showing us her bottom in the mid nineties... She got us alright.

Cher I believe, I do believe in life after love, especially if it is with you, mama Cher, Grandma Cher, Great Grand ma Cher, President Cher, ruler of the Universe, Queen of all who populate the earth, CHER DIED FOR YOUR SINS, DON"T BLAME ME I VOTED FOR CHER< CHER was the original AMERICAN IDOL, cher, so sweet they named a fruit after her, and an appertif, laundry detergent, verb for hooting and hollering, verb for being unselfish with material goods, or for blabbering out at AA Meetings, I am Cher and I am an Alcoholic, Fuck You, Okay, that's not Cher, that's Courtney Love, Because Cher only got drunk in movies, she never got drunk in real life. She didn't need to, because she was happy. If Madonna were to have a mother, it would be Cher. And That means that Jesus would be Madonna's sister, and if this is all true, then what is Prince? And the Passion of the Christ as a Broadway Musical, It's been done!!!! Only with fake blood, and real Jews, and real gays too!

I don't have anything else to say, I just wanted to give you food for thought, next time you think about Jesus, or the Passion of the Christ, Just think... What Would Cher Do? And open your heart and be saved.

(Written between 7:30 and 8 this morning,)

************

written between 8:20 and 8:33 Same Day

God Poem
In the beginning, there was darkness, and god said let there be light, and there was nothing for it to shine on, so
God created the world, and he saw that it was good, but Tony the Tiger said, no, it was GREAT, and Richard Simmons said it was Fabulous, and god said, there are too many gods, you shall have no other gods before me, the rest of you are false idols, and Charleton Heston said, Whatever, as long as you don't take away my guns, From my cold dead hands!!!!! And God said, that can be arranged.

Then God created flowers, for hippies to wear in their hair when they went to San Francisco, and they smoked the flowers and it was good.

And God created War, because without war we wouldn't have "War, Goodgod yall what isit good for, absolutely nothing say it again.

And then god created me, and my mom looked up and said, God What were you thinking! No that's not true, she didn't have sex with god. I was a wanted child.... In fact, I was christianed as Andrew, which means Manly, and I would take my shirt off and unzip and showyou how literal that is, but it would be a prop violation, and it would cost an awful lot to bail me out. But I swear to you, God loves us all, because if he or she or it didn't, you'd be hanging upside down in a tsunami in Bangledesh. The moral of the story: God didn't love them. But they didn't suffer, at least tell your children that... They are just extras in our Disney movie we call life in AMERICA. But this poem is not about you, it is about God... and according to the Bible, which god wrote with his own bare hands, and is the literal truth, God is coming back to open up a can of whipass, only, it don't translate like that from the Greek. The question is, Will Satan be ready to step in the ring with the almighty, and you America, are you ready to fork over the kisssash, for the greatest Wrestlemania Ever!!!!???? Can I get an Amen, can I get a Halelujah.... But I just want to know, what if god was one of us, just a slob like one of us, just a stranger on a bus trying to make his way back home? The question is: Would God Drive the Bus, or would he be the drunk guy passed out in the back, And if God was driving the bus, and he got pulled over for driving while inebriated, would he in court, put his hand over his autobiography and testify, so help me me? and if he did, would the world explode? If it did, it would be good, No, No, No, Saith Tony The Tiger, it would be gREEEAAATTTTT!!!! ANd on the 7th day, god rested and ate cornflakes. Amen

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