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2010-05-21 3:54 PM Blah-g #162 Three days and still in pain Previous Entry :: Next Entry Read/Post Comments (0) |
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Well it’s three more days till I get to see Master and I’m really excited about that and I can’t wait. I’m still in pain from my tendon. I really do hate my family well except my mom and the boys don’t count because they’re under 10. They don’t see that I’m fucking limping and I have to rest if I walk from the living room to the kitchen cuz it hurts to walk? No they don’t. My brother is just an ass hole. I told him that I couldn’t stress my leg or anything because if I do I’ll end up either having to use crutches or being in a wheelchair for the rest of my life. And trust me I don’t want that. I like my legs, even if they’re all fat and jiggly and pale. So you know what he tells me after I explain what Tendonitis is? He tells me: “You complain too much” And then later that day (yesterday when I went emo there for a sec) I told my sister so she could get one of the boys (my baby brothers who I like calling the boys) something and she said no because she was doing some shit on the computer. Then I told Master about and he called me and I broke down and cried. Yeh I cried. I just can’t handling being in pain and having to slave away even though I know the consequences of me not taking care of my foot. So that’s what happened with my emo break yesterday. And the only reason I said I really wanted to hurt myself is because I’m forbidden to by Master. Being a masochist I really don’t know my own limits with pain. Yeah I bet you’re all thinking “but she cant handle the pain in her foot” see there’s a difference. I can’t handle accident pain like this. It’s only self inflicted pain that I can handle. I don’t know why. I guess because I’m not like “normal” being the relative word here, people. I can hurt myself and keep going for example sometimes it wont even register as pain. I guess that’s my second reason for liking BDSM so much. And partly the reason Master is into it as well to make sure I don’t go past my physical and mental limits. Anyways I was too drained last night to even bother doing anything after posting last night. So yeah. I’m definitely gonna post chpt 2 today. Shit I’ll do it after I post my blah-g. Then I’ll take a nap. I’m tired. Yeah weird, tired even though I haven’t been doing much of anything and what’s weirder is I’m not eating much either I’m actually eating less than the less I already was. I dunno. Anyways that’s it for today. ---------------- Now playing: Gackt - Road via FoxyTunes |
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