harukosneko

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2012-09-23 11:05 AM
Ink Blot # 275 More Thoughts On Everything

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First off I have been neglecting my blogging for various reasons that you people might not care about. Most of it is just having to process that I'm not going back to that hell hole that was my home. That's the biggest part of it.

Another part is because I just don't feel like blogging. Just like I don't feel like being a part of many of the online communities I used to be apart of. I just don't feel the passion for them.

Anyways, I've been doing a lot of thinking and not so much soul searching but more just reflecting on life and how choices can affect different outcomes and what not.

I still don't know what to believe in. Which is why I'm writing this post today. I mean I knew Christianity was never for me. I could never believe in God/ Jesus Christ. And then I thought LaVayan Satanism was for me. Then was Luciferian. Now it's Wiccan/Paganism.

Though I think a little bit of all of them would suit me just fine. So I decided I'm going to Honour the Norse Pantheon rather than the typical Greek or Roman ones.

Especially because I feel an innate connection with Loki (both from the Mythos and from the Marvelverse.

Another major point is how my menstruation is connected with my abilities. Let me elaborate; a few weeks ago Owner and I were at a friends house (some what located in the country but still close enough to town), and I got a bit tipsy and started dry heaving (I'm still new to drinking so I don't have a tolerance for it) and Owner being dutiful to make sure I'm alright came out to make sure I was alright.

I told him that I was feeling the nature spirits and that they didn't like his friends. I was proven right when Owner and I both heard (at first was a bear but sounded to light) a deer. So when Owner went in to get his friends the deer ran off away from the house. Then when Owner's friends went back inside the deer wandered back to where it was originally.

A second example is that I've been able to part take in activities with a friend of mine. What I mean is I'll be listening to music from a particular cartoon at the same time my friend is watching it. With no prior knowledge until one of use says "im listening to this" or "dude I'm watching that".

Mind you, I am in Williamsport, Pennsylvania and my friend is in Honolulu, Hawaii. Also I seem to be able to reenact what she has dreamed. I sent her a text message and the following texts happened in the exact sequence in her dream.

And my final example (for now) was a Friday night, I was laying down and I rolled over to my side trying to take a nap. Owner was sitting down near the bed watching the X-Files. My hands and arms began to tingle so thinking I was cutting off circulation from laying on them I rolled on to my back and the following things happened; my whole body went numb and began to tingle, suddenly I felt like my body was being pulled off the bed by my feet (which is physically impossible since the foot of the bed is literally blocked by clothes and other stuff) and I felt myself being pulled towards the window and while all this was happening I could hear the tv, I knew exactly which episode Owner was watching , and the whole time I was freaking out and suddenly I was pulled back into my body and I sat up and told Owner.

So I recounted what happened to Owner and he said I looked like I was sleeping until I suddenly sat up. He calmed me down (I'm still a bit freaked by it) and he told me that he thinks it might have to do with my menstruation getting back on cycle after all that time on birth control. Which I think he may be right since the entire time I was on birth control I've felt numbed to a lot of things especially to my emotions and what not.

Anyways on a not so spooky note, I'm finally more or less able to finally be myself. Well within reason as far as letting out my inner little ( drinking from a sippy cup and a baby bottle and playing with my unicorns and wanting dollies I can play with). Though because of privacy reasons Owner and I still can't do anything really BDSM related (other than me wearing collars) but hopefully we'll be able too.

LOL Wow and apparently iTunes wants me to call my mom. It keeps throwing in Elvis songs in between some of my more black metal songs.

And yes I did call my mom but no answer so I left a message.

Well that's it for now. Hopefully I'll have enough passion to continue blogging.

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