HarukosNeko Journal

Ink Blot #286

harukosslavekitten616@gmail.com (harukosneko) — Thu, 9 May 2013 19:09:00 GMT

Wow. I've completely neglected blogging again.

Anyways. I'm now 24 years old.

Not that anyone cares or reads this shit.

I got some pretty cool stuff for my hatchday. I got a couple rings, some beading stone chips, a Marvel!Loki shirt, and a bunch of stuff from my mum. I got a tool box of baking stuff, some cake pans, some candy molds, some tea, some more clothes and a movie.

My Lego Mini figure collection is growing. I have 36 mini figures at the moment. Hopefully mum can send me some more mini figs and a few random bricks to build stuff for my Legos.

I've re done two of my blogs on Tumblr so that no one will be able to find a way to my main blog with porn, depressing stuff and Tom Hiddleston.

So I have http://legoloki13.tumblr.com/ for The Adventures of Lego Loki

and for my tea blog, http://tunahstea.tumblr.com/

Both are photo blogs where I take pictures, water mark them and post them.

I recently started watermarking most of my pictures because I'm paranoid that someone will steal them. Though it's highly doubtful.

Aside from that I've been completely glued to Netflix. I finished a few series' since the last blog. I've also watched a ton more movies. Right now I'm into watching Spanish language horror movies. They seem a lot better than any American horror movies I've seen in a long time.

I'm at least getting out of the house once a week. On Tuesdays because it's TUNAH TUESDAY! I go over to Becca's house and we watch movies and do fun stuff, or we go walk to the library and chill out for a bit.

This Tuesday I cooked Mexican food. All by myself. I was so surprised that I was able to make Mexican rice just like my mom. Almost. But it still came out just as good. I also fried corn tortillas in oil to help them hold their taco shape. I cooked the beef too. That was the best part.

For dessert we had melted some white chocolate chips and filled two candy molds with the chocolate. That was pretty fun too.

I wonder what we're going to do for next Tuesday. I can't wait to see what's planned.

I've also been to the doctor's too. I have another appointment with him in a few weeks, and after that I'll only be seeing him every two months instead of every one month.

The Zoloft really seems to be helping me. I mean I do have days where I hate everything and I still want to be dead but its no where near as bad as it used to be where that's all I'd think about and stuff. Now it's more like ok I'm depressed and sad but it's ok, lets watch something funny and make paper stars, and I'm ok. So whatever I've been doing is really good because even the doctor said I'm doing a lot better.

I'm still having trouble sleeping though. Its like I can't shut off my brain. I dunno. I've always had trouble getting to sleep and staying asleep. So it really doesn't bother me. I also try to stay on a normal-ish schedule where I'm up by at least 10am or noon time.

I think that's pretty much it for now. I've been pretty lax in my worship. My altar is a mess. My room is a mess. It's too hot already.

Trying my hardest not to dwell on saying things I shouldn't say to him. Trying not to get my hopes up that we'll ever be together anymore. Bah.

I need to go watch something to take my mind of this.

~May Loki be with you, my deviantly devious deviants.

Ink Blot #285

harukosslavekitten616@gmail.com (harukosneko) — Thu, 4 Apr 2013 18:50:00 GMT

So I think I may have to start blogging earlier in the day. I keep forgetting at night and by the time I do remember I need to blog, I can barely keep my eyes open.

It's 9 days until my Hatchday! I'm kind of excited and at the same time depressed.

I asked Bear if he wouldn't mind making it to my Hatchday, and he said he'll see about it. Mostly because he hopes to be working by then and he also has to see about getting transportation. Though I'm definitely not going to hold my breath because I know if I do, I'm going to crash and get thrown into another bout of serious depression.

So my Kitten has sent me a Hatchday card and present. She told me not to open the actual present until my Hatchday. That just makes me want to open more once I get it. But I'm going to keep my promise to her. So that's a good thing I'm looking forward to.

Alice got me a new addition to Loki's Glass Army. It's kinda of a rainbow Alicorn but, his horn, wings and hoof are broken. But it's ok. Coz it's broken just like me.

So I'm going to have to clean off my altar and organized stuff so that Charlie the Eleventh will have a place.

Yes. All my unicorns, stuffed and glass, are all named Charlie.

No they don't seem to mind.

Other than that nothing else has been happening. Mostly just vegging more than usual because I'm on my period. My cramps are murderous.

Trying not to get angry and just be pissed off that my mum can't send my stuff because of the bullshit the dirtbag is putting her through.

Anyways so today's blog will be short because there really isn't that much to talk about.

~May Loki be with you, my deviantly devious deviants

Ink Blot #284

harukosslavekitten616@gmail.com (harukosneko) — Mon, 1 Apr 2013 17:32:00 GMT

Yeah I know. I didn't really blog because the change in my medication made me super tired and then being up at 4am is never good for this fish.

Anyways. Not much really happened in those few days of non blogging.

No Easter (or as I like to call it Zombie Jewsus ChocoBunny MarshymallowChicken day) plans. We just had a regular day because it was raining. I shared some more of the candy I had.

I also made guacamole which was super yummy and didn't make John and Alice throw up. So that was pretty good. I also ate lentil chips with my guacamole. It was super good. Marshy likes the lentil chips too.

I also started my period yesterday. Which was not fun. It's not fun today either. But you (women) know what I mean. Which actually really bothers me that I'm now going to have to start my period at the end of every month and then it's going to go into the first week of the next month. That's just annoying as all fuck.

Anyways, it's only 12 days until my Hatch Day Celebration.

So far I've gotten two Lego Marvel!Loki keychains, and a glass surprise from my kitten. I wonder what my kitten got me. I already have an idea of what I'm gonna get her for her Hatch Day Celebration. Which is also going to be a surprise at least for her. So in case she reads my blogs it'll stay a surprise.

Aside from that, I haven't done anything I said I'd do. Mostly because again I've been tired and lazy.

I also have plans for my Hatch Day. I want to make a hot chocolate cake covered with Hershey's syrup and then serve hot (luke warm) hot chocolate out of my tea pot and have a tea party birthday kinda of deal. Then I'm going to surround myself with all my stuffed animals and stuff and pretend I'm supreme ruler.

I also need to text my mum my Hatch Day list. I really hope she can send it out.

Anyways I know that a lot of people will want to get me Hatch Day presents. I'm not going to say no. I know I won't win against people.

So if you really want to get me something, anything from the following would be nice:

Legos

Tea stuff (ie: sets (if you really love me), new teas to try, loose leaf teas, tea pot, tea strainer)

Baking and Cooking stuff

Loki stuff (both Norse God Loki or Marvel!Loki)

Crafty stuff (for DIY crafts)

Craft stuff (for Witchcraft)

or anything hand made works too.

So yeah. I guess that's it for now.

~May Loki be with you, my deviously devious deviants

Ink Blot #282

harukosslavekitten616@gmail.com (harukosneko) — Tue, 26 Mar 2013 22:05:00 GMT

Today I was woken up by cats in my room. That was pretty damn annoying. I also took my first of the 150mg of Zoloft. I really can't tell if its helping. I'm still picking at my chapped lip skin and the skin off my fingers.

I decided to watch Watership Down while I ate lunch. I don't get what's so sad. I mean yeah there's a bunch of death but *shrugs* maybe it's coz I'm already desensitized to the violence, who know's. Not me that's for sure.

I then took a four hour nap. I'm still pretty tired. I didn't realize how much going to the doctor's by myself drained out of me. I mean I've only been up for about three hours and I want to just curl back in my blankets and pillows and go back to sleep. I can hear them calling me to sleep. Now if only they'd do that every night so I don't have trouble sleeping.

I got free rabbit pellets today. I kinda had to make my own hamster mix since we're low on cash and hamster food isn't exactly cheap. So I mixed the pellets with some bird seed, and it seems to be like regular hamster food.

John went to Weis' to get my Zoloft and some other stuff. The rabbit food was marked for 3.39$ but the lady at the register rang it up as 3.59$, and she asked him if he wanted the 20cents back, and he read the return/customer service sign so they're going to credit the 3.59$ back to the account and I got free food for Marshy.

Loki obviously provides.

Ok. Let's get this straight. I love Marvel!Loki. I have a shit fuck ton in common with Marvel!Loki.

But I do NOT worship Marvel!Loki.

Ever since I could read I've always been interested in the Gods and Goddesses of old. I loved reading about Greek, Roman, Egyptian, Norse and Aztec Gods and Goddesses. At first for the longest time I only knew of Loki as the Trickster and that his children The Midgard Serpent, Fenrir the Wolf, and Hel(a) would bring about the end of the world.

That was about it. Thor, Odin, Frigga, Freyja and Freyr were more popular so I read about them more.

I've been on different spiritual "horses" so to speak. I grew up with my dad's side Catholic and my mom's side Christian or Jehova Witness. So as a young kitten I was forced to observe those religions. They definately were not for me.

When I was in high school, being the only goth, in a school of wanna be gansters; I was shunned and even terrified some of the staff. I came to be known as "The Goth Girl". My love of wearing all black and listening to music that was nowhere near mainstream got me called "witch", "Satanist", "satanic vampire witch" and a whole slew of other horrible names.

It was a few years after that, that I got The Satanic Bible by Anton LaVey. It resonated with me. I realized that much of what I think of the world was written in this book. Shortly after that I started looking at other books and websites and realized that just like any other religion there are people who think they're better than everyone else.

I opted out of "LaVeyan Satanism", though I do still hold some of his beliefs to heart. I started getting into Wicca. That too resonated with me but being the poor person I am, unable to get even the most basic of tools, I kind of just let it go. I still collected books when I could, read various websites and did what I could.

I know you're supposed to be silent about stuff when it comes to Witchcraft and what not because the more people you tell the more it lessens the potency of your spell. But I need to explain why I believe in what I believe in.

A few years ago, I had one of the worst Halloween's ever. I got almost no candy, and it just sucked over all. The next day, my mum took me to Michaels because she had a coupon for some bake stuff she needed. I decided to look around the Halloween stuff that was left over. That's when I saw it. It was a large black candle. It had a fairly big metal skull with an ornate frame around it. It was covered in black glitter. I wanted it, no, I needed it. Thankfully it was half off so I got it for 1.50$ after numerous price slashes. I put it on top of my bookshelf with my porcelain dolls. There it kind of just lived for another few Halloweens.

Finally one Halloween, it felt like a whim to me, but I'm sure there were other forces at work; I took the candle down and did an impromptu spell using candy, the candle and a made up spell. I let the candle burn for a few minutes while I got dressed and blew it out.

That night my Halloween bag was almost filled to the top with candy. I set out one of the best candies I got on top of the candle. It was amazing. It was then I realized, I don't need to follow instructions from other Witches or from their spell books (unless I wanted too). I could make up my own and it would be just as strong and would work as long as I believed in what I was doing.

Anyways to cut the story short, for the longest time I was toying with the idea of making the Norse Gods and Goddesses my main deities.

And to be honest, I had only seen pictures of Marvel!Loki before I actually watched the movie Thor. I actually thought he was pretty ugly. But then last year before I moved to Williamsport, I watched Thor and I fell head over heels for Marvel!Loki.

Then in November I went to the ER. I got a call from my now ex I guess he would be called, saying after 7 years that he was breaking up with me. Never have I wanted more to die in that moment. I had Alice (his mother) take out all the sharp objects from the room. I lost it. I couldn't be in the room.

I ended up checking myself into a voluntary 72 hour suicide watch. I was sent to another hospital where they had what is now called "Behaviour Health" ward. But for all the pretty wording it was a psych ward. Mental ward. I was there for 5 days. Now I know that doesn't seem like a lot of time but for me it felt like prison. I had to get up when they wanted me up. I had to eat what they served. I had to go to their little groups. I had to pretty much do as I was told. I hated it. In those five days I thought I was going to lose my mind.

On the night of the second day, I felt the presence of the Norse Loki. He comforted me. Never have I felt such a thing. It was amazing. I truly believe I was visited by a God and that he has saved my life.

Now I know I'm not what you'd call a "Lokean" or a "Godspouce" because from that people may assume I'm just Schizo or something. But I'm not. I know what happened, and it has only bettered me. I also don't worship Loki as many other Lokeans might. But again that is my personal preference. What may work for you may not work for me and vice versa, what works for me may not work for you.

Besides I have very limited funds, I am not allowed to drink alcohol and a few other restrictions. So I'm doing the best I can and Loki knows that.

Ha. I forgot the point of this whole post. I kinda just started to ramble.

Anyways I guess I should try and wrap this up. Tomorrow is a full moon. I have some gemstones to charge/consecrate, and I'm going to Dedicate myself to Loki.

I'm so excited. I can hardly wait. I'm sure it's going to go very well.

So basically the TL:DR of my post I love Marvel!Loki he's super hawt! I worship Norse Loki. I don't confuse the two.

I guess that's about it for now.

~May Loki be with you, my deviously devious deviants.

Ink Blot #282

harukosslavekitten616@gmail.com (harukosneko) — Mon, 25 Mar 2013 21:57:00 GMT

I went to the doctor's office all by myself. I felt so accomplished.

I told him about me picking at my lip skin, my finger skin and scabs. I also told him that I wasn't having very many bad days any more but that when I did it was almost overwhelming. I also have been having some trouble sleeping. He decided to up my Zoloft from 100mgs to 150mgs. He said that most sleep problems are tied with mental health problems, so I hope the increased Zoloft helps. He seemed adamant about not putting me on any other sleeping medication since he didn't think I'd want to spend the rest of my life taking a pill to put me to sleep.

So I'm gonna try turn everything off at 10pm again and listening to instrumental music only. If I'm still up for more than half an hour then I may read or take pictures of my Legos for a bit and then try and get some sleep again.

I also got brave enough to tell my doctor about the rash thing under my breasts. For a long time I've had this kind of rash thing, it doesn't burn, and it doesn't itch, but it's kinda annoying. I had to lift up my shirt to show him. Which in itself was really super hard because well my doctor is male. But thankfully he said I caught it pretty early on and to try using baby powder to absorb moisture and to keep it as dry as possible.

Aside from that it went really well. I was proud of myself for going on my own and being open about my problems with sleeping, and my rash.

Aside from that I really didn't do anything. Last night I was thinking of going to the park, but it snowed and rained all day, and it was in the low thirties. So I didn't go.

Hopefully the weather will start getting better soon so I can go. I want to take pictures of my Legos and my tea set(s). I also want to see about having a picnic. Even if it's just me and my Legos. I'm sure Loki wouldn't mind joining if I have sweets for him. Which reminds me, I asked my doctor about cooking with alcohol and he said it was all good since it gets burned off doing cooking only leaving the flavor. So I can bake my Loki-Licious mead cupcakes. Once I get my hands on some mead of course. Loki would love that.

Well other than all that stuff nothing else has been happening. It's been pretty tame here.

Mostly just stickin' to tumblr, blogging, Netflix, and texting a few friends. Not to mention chatting with some other friends who don't have a phone. Also trolling for recipes I can try out.

Anyways I guess that's about it for now.

~May Loki be with you, my devious deviants.

Ink Blot #281

harukosslavekitten616@gmail.com (harukosneko) — Sun, 24 Mar 2013 19:35:00 GMT

I got up at like 7:30 am. Watched stuff on Netflix, really didn't do much. Took a nap. Woke up with the taste of blood in my mouth.

I only told three people about it. One made a joke saying I'm canballizing in my sleep. The second doesn't know what that could be, and the third thinks it may be Loki feeding me his blood while I sleep.

I'm actually inclined to think that it very well may be Loki. I may pray to Him and see what the answer is. That's if I don't feel lazy and any more exhausted.

I have a doctors appointment tomorrow. I'm most likely going to be out an about from noon til after 3:30pm. I depending on how I feel after my appointment I may go to the park for some pictures of my tea set stuff and Legos. I'm not too sure yet. We'll see how I feel when I wake up tomorrow.

I'm kinda nervous about going to the doctors again by myself. Last time I went by myself was because Alice was sick and couldn't go with me. This time, it's my choice to go by myself. I also have to tell the doctor about how its super hard during the moments before I actually fall asleep, my compulsive picking at my lip skin, and if I could cook/bake with alcohol. Yes I know I mentioned the last one before, but I want to make sure I don't forget. Hm. I wonder if I should tell him about that I don't dream, that I sleep and there's blackness and waking up with the taste of blood in my mouth.

I've been seeing my doctor since December, and I still haven't asked him about that. I know I still haven't worked up the courage to ask him. It's a bit strange to me that I'm getting along so well with my doctor because my doctor is a dude. But I feel like he really wants to help me and he doesn't judge me. Which is a really big thing for me.

I also gotta make sure I got all my library books in one spot because I gotta return them on the 29th. I haven't even looked through most of them. I barely copied down any recipes either. But it's all good because I HAVE A LIBRARY CARD! I hope once the weather starts to warm up, I'll be able to go more often to the library and just chill. Take my laptop so I can blog or write down recipes and just mostly get out of the house.

If I can do that hopefully I can make more friends I can hang out with. The friends that I had because of Assbutt, are no longer my friends. They never text me, they don't ask me how I'm doing, they don't even invite me to their little get togethers. At least with Becca, she invites me. Which is more than I can say for them. My other friends live out of state. So aside from John, Alice, Colin, Becca and Deja I have no friends out here.

I'm not really sure what else to talk about. I took a few pictures of my stuff today, and I posted them to my third Tumblr blog and to Instagram. I'm having trouble with facebook. It won't let me load the message page, it's not loading the chat side bar, and I can only receive messages. I'm also having trouble posting pictures too. I don't know why. The posting pictures just may be because Sprint service sucks out here.

I'm also gonna post another recipe to my recipe blogs too. Wow. I have a lot of blogs. But it helps. So I guess that's alright. Plus they're all free, so its not like I'm spending money to ignore some of them.

I'm also going to start seeing about actually practicing my craft now. Alice's golden rule is: "As long as it doesn't hurt anyone else and you're not hurting yourself, it's fine with me." Kind of reminds me of this discussion we had a few days ago. She said as long as I don't bring in vampires, demons, ghosts, werewolves and other bad entities she was ok with me doing my Wicca/Witchcraft thing. I had to choke down a laugh because I am a vampire. But I'm not gonna tell her that. There are some things that people don't have to know.

Anyways. I guess that's about it for today.

~May Loki be with you, my devious deviants.

Ink Blot #280

harukosslavekitten616@gmail.com (harukosneko) — Sat, 23 Mar 2013 21:49:00 GMT

Last night I didn't blog. I was tired and lazy and well just really tired.

I talked to the Assbutt, working up the courage to tell him I miss him. He said "I know. Me too, but it doesn't make things easier to dwell on it." Not exactly sure what he means.

I kinda don't want to go my doctor's appointment. I'm kinda scared that I'll tell him that I'm picking at the skin on my lip and starting to pick at the sides of my finger nails. But I do have to tell him that I'm having trouble with sleeping again. I also have to ask if its safe for me to cook with alcohol because of my medication. I'd rather be safe than sorry in this instance.

I finished a jar of pickles all by myself. Yay. I know exactly what I'm going to use it for too. Of course after I wash it and take off the pickle label.

I can't believe I forgot how hard it is to blog at least once a day. Just goes to show how lax I've gotten. I've also whittled down the number of sites I post too. Now I'm pretty much using strictly blog sites. I went from a grand total of 38 sites down to 22 sites.

Marshy seems to sleep just like me. On his side (most of the time) and can sleep through super loud noises. I put a chewy thing I got with his hamster ball and I put in his cage and now he's sleeping under it.

I looked up at my altar/photography table, and I realize I have a lot of shit up there. I got glass unicorns (all named Charlie), a mini tea set, a glass bottle with fake black roses, some Legos, a few action figures, a giant rock, Marhsy's cage, a small plate with four candles, dessert cups and a really ornate tea cup with a saucer bowl plate thingy, and a few other knick knacks.

Once I clear some more stuff and maybe get a dresser up here I may either A) use the dresser as an altar or B)move some of the stuff from my table to the dresser. I'm not sure yet. I'll probably figure it out more once I get more of the room cleared out.

Hopefully once mum sends some of my stuff I'll be able to make candies and my own sugar cubes with the candy molds. I also want to start a collection of kitchen items and foods so that I can have stuff on hand for when I feel like baking or cooking. I also want to start making easy recipes that have good results so that I can start posting those as well.

I also want to start looking into getting extracts and/or making my own. Like vanilla extract, and also making infused sugars. That would be a really nice touch to my homemade sugar cubes.

I need to figure out what to do with all my used teabags. Yeah. I have a bunch of used teabags that I've saved when I was finished drinking my tea. I think I may make some kind of mobile to hang off the middle of the ceiling where there was a fan.

Have you ever had a blog before and you go through some of the posts and you're thinking to yourself, "Holy fuck. I hope no one sees this shit." Yeah. That's what happened to me. I saw two of my older blogs. Wow. I can't believe I was such a fucking dorky nerd thing.

Anyways. I guess thats about it for tonight my deviously deviants.

Ink Blot #279

harukosslavekitten616@gmail.com (harukosneko) — Thu, 21 Mar 2013 20:34:00 GMT

Well I really didn't do anything today. I was up last night really late, and I couldn't sleep so I kinda just took it easy.

I posted the pictures of my tea cup thingy, and I still have no information if its for decoration or for actual use. I kinda bit the bullet and asked Assbutt to see if he could find out for me. Though I doubt he'll have any luck.

Aside from that I gotta clean the floor of my room. I gotta change Marshy's bedding. I also want to see if there's a thermostat on the toaster oven. I really want to start baking. Even if its just pie crusts and quiche. I have a 6pack of tart pans that are itching to be used.

I also have these wonderful dessert cups I got a while back at the same thrift store where I got that beautiful tea cup. I want to make puddings and pipe them delicious-like into the cups.

Yeah I'm being more and more open to being a housewife. Or houseuke as I put it. I don't really know I just love the idea of cooking and cleaning while my Master (or Mistress, if I get that lucky) is at work and they come home to a fully prepared home cooked meal and dessert and just relax.

Plus its just fun to be able to cook and pour my love into it for all to share and taste. I think that's really the best part of the cooking and, baking. I told mum about it, and she said, "Now do you see why I bake cakes?" I also have a huge list of things I want her to send me for my birthday.

The only thing I'm having trouble with is which Lego box I want, but the thing is that the two that I want are 30$+, and I don't know if my mom can spare that. So I'm waiting for her to get back to me so I can find out and change my mind on which one I want. I'm really leaning towards the one with the Hulk because MORE LOKI! But at the same time I kind of want a Batman Lego too.

So far my list is comprised of things she already has and things I have (like my sewing box, my charmie box and, a pencil case with some ink and pens) and a few things she'd have to buy. I really hope she can send it all together.

I do know for a fact that she's going to send me some candy moulds. I don't know which ones though. But once I get them I want to start making infused sugars and then make sugar cubes with said infused sugars and use those as gifts for my best friends. I want to start giving back even if its home made stuff.

I already have a list of the first four people I'm going to make these super special surprises for. *insert super girly giggle* Some of these will be just thank you presents and others will be birthday presents.

Anywhoo aside from that I really don't have anything else to talk about.

I think I'll post some of my mum's recipes. I think I have about three or four of them. I've also pretty much made them myself (and helped with other times) so I know they're tried and true.

I guess that's about it for tonight my deviously deviants.

Ink Blot #278

harukosslavekitten616@gmail.com (harukosneko) — Wed, 20 Mar 2013 19:59:00 GMT

So I completely forgot to blog last night. I was a bit hyped and then I got really tired and just forgot.

I went over to Becca's because it was her birthday. I shared a lot of the candy that my mum sent me. I still have a shit ton of candy left though.

My mum also got her package today. She was really happy and surprised at that. I was just glad it got there in one piece. She really really loved the magnets and the little cupcake notebook.

I also asked her about the mini cake pans and the pastry bags with tips and she told me, "No. But ask me again on your birthday, just not today."

Then we talked about my hamster, Fatty (or Jellybean). He's doing pretty good which makes me happy. Marshy is doing pretty good too. He's just angry when ever I open and close the door because it wakes him up.

I still haven't had any motivation to draw or write in a long time. It got worse after November.

I'm so tired. I think I may got to bed early tonight too. I've been really tired. I'm probably picking up on Assbutt. Again. I'm starting to pick up on him again. Which kinda sucks but what can you do when you're blood bound.

I've also been able to pick up on both Colin and John as well. Alice thinks that I'm healing enough that my abilities are coming back. I'm pretty sure that's whats happening too. Though I kinda missed not having to wonder what I was feeling from whom and whatnot. But my abilities are apart of me, and I just have to learn to deal with them.

I may either clean tomorrow or see about making plum jam the same way we made the strawberry jam. I also wonder what kind of molds mum's gonna send me. I really want to make my own sugar cubes.

I also can't wait for when the flowers bloom. I want to make flower petal infused sugars and send them to family and friends. Mostly friends who live out of state. Also, I could make a flower petal infused sugar cubes to make it even cuter.

Yeah. My time away from blogging and being apart from Assbutt, has made me a bit more girly. Which is just another part of me that I guess I had repressed. I'm starting to also get more in tuned with my own feelings and emotions.

I have a few pictures to post, mainly of that cup I got at the thrift store. I'm still trying to find info on it because I want to know if its for decorative purposes only or if I can actually use it. Maybe tomorrow when I'm not so tired.

Until next time my deviously deviants.

Ink Blot #277

harukosslavekitten616@gmail.com (harukosneko) — Mon, 18 Mar 2013 21:36:00 GMT

According to John and Alice the jam with Splenda came out delicious. My jam came out just as good. I didn't try the Splenda version one though.

My Pi Day pie is still getting rave reviews. I'm glad about that. I was surprised. I also learned that here I don't have to worry about my food being eaten without my knowledge/permission. Back in California if I made something and didn't hide it, it was gone. Here people actually wait and ask me for more of my food rather than just help themselves. So that was a nice surprise.

I had a really busy day this morning/afternoon. Alice and I stopped at the thrift store and I got two new bras. I also got this adorable little cup with a matching saucer too. You'll bee able to see the pictures on either my facebook, twitter, tumblr and instagram. Hopefully tonight or sometime tomorrow. Depends on how I'm feeling.

I sent out a package to my mum. It was vitamins, some flavor packs for frosting, a notebook and a four pack of Elvis Presley magnets. I hope she gets it soon. I love my mum. She's the greatest. Not just cuz she indulges me and sends me stuff but because she's my friend too. Though I can't really talk to her about some things, I know I can count on her.

My day had been going really good until after Alice and I finished at the bank. We were walking home and this guy hit on me (which normally I can shrug off with little to no incident) and then this man I never even met before let alone, feeling already slightly uncomfortable at being hit on, HE GRABS MY ARM. Needless to say as he grabbed my arm, the look in his eye was the same as the look my cousin would give me as he molested me. When Alice and I got back home I just completely broke down. Alice couldn't really help me so she called Assbutt and he told me to not let it bother me because thats what people do and there are weirdos like that. That really didn't help me either.

So I took a nap, still feeling super tired so I'm probably going to go to bed early.

Bah. Netflix is being weird, but I really want to watch season three of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

Anyways until next time my deviously deviant lovelies.

Ink Blot #276

harukosslavekitten616@gmail.com (harukosneko) — Sun, 17 Mar 2013 21:25:00 GMT

Wow. I realize that my last blog post was about 5 months ago.

That was before shit hit the fan. I don't really want to open those wounds up again. But basically I'm not living with my boyfriend and he shouldn't even be called my boyfriend since he dumped.

I spent a week in a psych ward. I'm currently on medication for depression. I'm taking 100mg of generic Zoloft. I've been seeing a doctor since December. I have another appointment with him in a few days.

I have medical assistance to help me pay for my doctor visits, the time in the ward and various other things. Though it doesn't get approved til the first of April.

Life is especially hard for me. I'm away from my mom and my youngest brothers. I'm no longer in a relationship. I'm living with his parents. I feel like I'm a burden and I'm just trying not to get sucked into the negative way of thinking again. The Zoloft helps with that but only to a certain extent.

I got a hamster a few days after I got out of the psych ward and I swear having a pet really really helps. I have a living creature to take care of, to love and just be happy with.

I have a pretty funny story about that. When I got him, the lady at Pet Smart told me the hamster was female. So I named "her" Annabel Lee. Not even three days later, I find out my hamster was in fact a male. So I had a tough time coming up with a new name for him. I finally settled on Marshall Brandon Lee, but I call him Marshy for short.

Wow. I just realized April first will be 5 months that I've had Marshy.

My white hamster Fatty is still alive and kicking, though my youngest brothers have renamed him Jellybean.

I hope I can get back into the groove of blogging at least once a day.

I also have a new website which also serves as a blog (won't focus so much on my emotional problems just yet), art gallery for crafty things I've made or will make (goes for witchcraft things as well) and a recipe index for recipes I've tried and came out good. I'll put a link at the end of the blog for you. I may do the same with my blog on blogger too.

Tomorrow is gonna be pretty busy. I got stuff to send out to my mum, gotta give my case worker some paper work and go to the bank and some other stuff so I'll be out and about.

Anyways I guess that's it for now my deviously deviant lovelies.

http://tunaandlokisbitsandbytes.weebly.com/

Ink Blot # 275 More Thoughts On Everything

harukosslavekitten616@gmail.com (harukosneko) — Sun, 23 Sep 2012 11:05:00 GMT

First off I have been neglecting my blogging for various reasons that you people might not care about. Most of it is just having to process that I'm not going back to that hell hole that was my home. That's the biggest part of it.

Another part is because I just don't feel like blogging. Just like I don't feel like being a part of many of the online communities I used to be apart of. I just don't feel the passion for them.

Anyways, I've been doing a lot of thinking and not so much soul searching but more just reflecting on life and how choices can affect different outcomes and what not.

I still don't know what to believe in. Which is why I'm writing this post today. I mean I knew Christianity was never for me. I could never believe in God/ Jesus Christ. And then I thought LaVayan Satanism was for me. Then was Luciferian. Now it's Wiccan/Paganism.

Though I think a little bit of all of them would suit me just fine. So I decided I'm going to Honour the Norse Pantheon rather than the typical Greek or Roman ones.

Especially because I feel an innate connection with Loki (both from the Mythos and from the Marvelverse.

Another major point is how my menstruation is connected with my abilities. Let me elaborate; a few weeks ago Owner and I were at a friends house (some what located in the country but still close enough to town), and I got a bit tipsy and started dry heaving (I'm still new to drinking so I don't have a tolerance for it) and Owner being dutiful to make sure I'm alright came out to make sure I was alright.

I told him that I was feeling the nature spirits and that they didn't like his friends. I was proven right when Owner and I both heard (at first was a bear but sounded to light) a deer. So when Owner went in to get his friends the deer ran off away from the house. Then when Owner's friends went back inside the deer wandered back to where it was originally.

A second example is that I've been able to part take in activities with a friend of mine. What I mean is I'll be listening to music from a particular cartoon at the same time my friend is watching it. With no prior knowledge until one of use says "im listening to this" or "dude I'm watching that".

Mind you, I am in Williamsport, Pennsylvania and my friend is in Honolulu, Hawaii. Also I seem to be able to reenact what she has dreamed. I sent her a text message and the following texts happened in the exact sequence in her dream.

And my final example (for now) was a Friday night, I was laying down and I rolled over to my side trying to take a nap. Owner was sitting down near the bed watching the X-Files. My hands and arms began to tingle so thinking I was cutting off circulation from laying on them I rolled on to my back and the following things happened; my whole body went numb and began to tingle, suddenly I felt like my body was being pulled off the bed by my feet (which is physically impossible since the foot of the bed is literally blocked by clothes and other stuff) and I felt myself being pulled towards the window and while all this was happening I could hear the tv, I knew exactly which episode Owner was watching , and the whole time I was freaking out and suddenly I was pulled back into my body and I sat up and told Owner.

So I recounted what happened to Owner and he said I looked like I was sleeping until I suddenly sat up. He calmed me down (I'm still a bit freaked by it) and he told me that he thinks it might have to do with my menstruation getting back on cycle after all that time on birth control. Which I think he may be right since the entire time I was on birth control I've felt numbed to a lot of things especially to my emotions and what not.

Anyways on a not so spooky note, I'm finally more or less able to finally be myself. Well within reason as far as letting out my inner little ( drinking from a sippy cup and a baby bottle and playing with my unicorns and wanting dollies I can play with). Though because of privacy reasons Owner and I still can't do anything really BDSM related (other than me wearing collars) but hopefully we'll be able too.

LOL Wow and apparently iTunes wants me to call my mom. It keeps throwing in Elvis songs in between some of my more black metal songs.

And yes I did call my mom but no answer so I left a message.

Well that's it for now. Hopefully I'll have enough passion to continue blogging.

My New Life

harukosslavekitten616@gmail.com (harukosneko) — Sun, 12 Aug 2012 08:33:00 GMT

So there was a lot of bullshit I had to deal with these past few months since I last blogged.

First was court cases for a scumbag of a asshole that gave me half of my genetics.

Then mum had to go into surgery for a hysterectomy because she doesn't want any more children and the fact that she had a cyst the size of a four month pregnancy.

Thankfully she's ok and healing great.

But anyways I'm now living with Owner permanently.

Ink Blot #274 Whaley House

harukosslavekitten616@gmail.com (harukosneko) — Sun, 3 Jun 2012 14:21:00 GMT

Well nothing really has happened in the last week since my last blog.

Other than my mum and Tia wanting to throw me a good bye party. Decided to have it at my Nana's apartment complex because there are grills, picnic benches, pool and we can use Nana's fridge to cool stuff while we get the coolers and ice.

As far as food mum said whatever is on sale. So I'm guessing either hamburgers and hotdogs or carne asada and pollo asada.

Personally I don't really care as long as I get to make puff pastries. Weeee! I'm prolly gonna make the pastry cream the night before that way it'll be set and ready for piping once the puff pastry shells are cool.

Aside from that I went to Old Town yesterday with Moose. We went to the (in)Famous Whaley House. I took a shit ton of pictures with my digital camera. It was pretty awesome to see how people lived in San Diego, CA about 100 or so years ago.

I was totally in love with the tea sets and china that was in the house.

There were only two "rooms" in the house that I felt uncomfortable being near since we weren't allowed inside the rooms. It was the study and one of the bedrooms for the girls. Aside from that there wasn't much else other than feeling slightly claustrophobic because the house (despite being called a Manor) was really tiny and there was a good hand full of people in there as well.

As far as it being haunted I'm pretty sure that it's been so long that the Whaley's spirits have just faded into time as most spirits of really old haunted houses.

All in all it was a good time, cheap admission. For both me and Moose it was an even 12$. Slightly informative and just great for having a good time.

Then after the Whaley house we went to a small cemetery that about a block or so away. We took pictures of the graves and chilled for a bit.

After that we hiked back up to Moose's car and stopped by some old Victorian houses. And fuuuuu they were beautiful. Amazing works of architecture of the time. Then she and I talked about getting a few more friends and going to buy a few acres of land out in the forest and have ourselves a little Victorian style village.

That's when I started getting hungry. We first went to Denny's but the waitress took forever (I think she forgot about us) and then we went to In-n-Out (I'm so gonna miss their burgers when I'm out in PA) where Moose got a milk shake and I got a burger. Then she decided to go to Mc(Whities)Donalds so we could plug in my laptop to look at the pictures we took. But alas when we got there were no outlets. So I got a soda and she got a burger. We chilled for a bit more and then dropped me off.

I finished reviewing my pictures that I took and was a bit sad to see some of them came out blurry because my camera was autofocusing. But the majority of them came out awesome. The only anomalies in the pictures were mostly reflections of myself, Moose or other people as well as light reflecting off the glass that keeps the rooms in pristine condition and light reflecting off shiny surfaces from the light, camera flash and other cameras.

That was a major bummer but still I got great photos.

Also Owner got a new case for my iPoot which is so awesome and three of the new Tama-Go Tamagotchis. I'm having so much fun with just one. (Long story short the screwdriver I used to unscrew the green one now won't unscrew the blue or white ones its just weird).

Anyways I guess that's about it for now.

Until next time my deviously deviant fishies.

Ink Blot #273 Thoughts on Stuff

harukosslavekitten616@gmail.com (harukosneko) — Thu, 24 May 2012 08:27:00 GMT

So I haven't really written anything since my last blog.

I'm starting to really struggle with myself because bits and pieces of myself have been coming into light and right now I can't handle it right now.

Right now I'm in a family that treasures normality. Even having my snake bites is considered "not normal". I've been able to hide most of my deviant nature and my general abnormal-ness but as of late, like I said bits and pieces are coming through my almost perfect facade and now I can't handle it.

I don't know what to really do because I've never had to deal with having to suppress what I already have suppressed to no end.

I dunno maybe like always I'm over analyzing shit and just need to calm the fuck down. Bleh.

Anyways.

My grades for the semester were:

B-Baking
A-Basic Skills
A-Pastry Design
C-Cultural Foods

and a GPA Of 3.2

So that was good. Makes me proud of myself for doing the best I could.

Which reminds me a few nights ago I made some chili that was based on a copy cat recipe for Wendy's Chili and I tuna-fied it and man was it fucking delicious!

The recipe was only for one serving so me and Mum doubled it and only gave us half a pot so next time we make it we have to quadruple it because it was gone in a few hours of it being made and I barely got a taste of my chili. But what I did manage to taste was fucking delicious!

Don't worry I'll write down the recipe later and share with all you deviant lovelies. (Though I didn't follow the recipe so everything will be in pinches or to taste)

I'm actually growing a bit confident with my cooking skills so that when I'm finally living with Owner I can help his mom and dad cook and that'll be awesome. I also talked to Owner about starting our own Organic garden (more for me since he's not big on veggies and fruit) and just because I feel it'd help round me out and keep me busy while he's at work.

I also want to start baking a lot more as well. Not so much cakes but pastries like cream puffs, puff pastries like the ones I have on my G+ and Facebook albums. I've even gotten requests from Owner's dad and some of his friends for birthday cakes when I get out there. So that's gonna be tons of fun.

Which reminds me, Owner's got of a lot of fun stuff for us to do this summer. Which is mainly comprised of swimming either at the YMCA, the creek or if we're lucky at Kevin's sister's house in her pool. Then will be ghost hunting (on Owner's days off), he and some of his friends will also be helping me with my writing (as my personal editors and helpers), also plan on catching up with Doctor Who, watching Buffy (the entire series because there's a few episodes I've missed), Angel, Supernatural, and a few other shows I can't remember off the top of my head. Then of course Owner wants to have a "Nic Cage Movie Night" where we watch all of Nic Cage's horrible movies.

Then we have a huge surprise for the world which will be unveiled soon. So keep a close eye on my blogs because I'll be giving out hints and the like once I'm out in PA. Also be ready for twitter, facebook and Tumblr, and maybe even a G+ page for it. But right now it's a hush hush because we don't want anyone stealing our idea before we have ours finalized. It's in the production stages. :3

Aside from that thing's have been getting more tense here at home. It's getting so bad that I've actually taken to locking myself in my room with only my laptop and cell phone to help me communicate with the outside world. Yeh its that bad but I really don't feel like talking about it.

I've also noticed that since I've come off my birth control I've been a lot more squeamish to somethings that used to not bother me. It bugs me. I've also started to act a lot more girly too. Such as wanting to host dinner parties, tea parties, and little things and blah blah. I dunno it bugs me because I used to be more or less a tom boy. I never had any reason to learn how to cook, bake, or host little parties where everyone had to be on their best behavior and little bullshit things like that. And now that's pretty much how I am and its like EW ITS NOT ME!!! But yeh. There's really not much I can do about it so I might as well embrace it.

I can't wait til Friday. Moose is gonna tuna-nap me again. We still gotta work out time and stuff especially since her parents truck has been breaking down a lot and we have to stay relatively close in case the truck does break down.

Anyways I think that's about it for now. Dunno the next time I'll feel like blogging but please keep an eye out if not you can always follow:

My twitter: https://twitter.com/#!/DrTunahCatfish

My facebook: http://www.facebook.com/tunacatfish

My G+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/109532255117395767700/posts//p/pub

My Tumblr: http://www.tumblr.com/blog/drtunahcatfish