All great truths begin as blasphemies.
George Bernard Shaw
Mood:
resigned
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There is nothing to read here. The content is over there, to your right.
I may, however, at some point, put something here. Some day. Eventually. No pressure.
out-running the Grim Reaper x2
First, before I even start, I just want to say to Keir that the long ago offer to kick ass still stands. I know you don't want to talk about it, but my email is always open.
In another journal galaxy far far away, I wrote an entry about my father-in-law, Yury. Mr. Cranky Pants. Mr. I-Make-Grumpy-Old-Men-Look-Like-Pansy-Ass-Dancing-Nancies-Wearing-Bunny-Slippers. You get the idea.
He has cancer and is dying. Soon. The pot (the good illegal kind, not the medically prescribed but useless shit) isn't working. He won't eat but still is spending his days throwing up.
Because he's a proud man, I'm not going to go into the other aspects of how weak he is. But Bella, my mother-in-law, can't help him anymore. She is too weak and tired. On Monday, they were to start home care, with a nurse in every day to tend to him. Mom doesn't think he'll last that long unless he gets into the hospital, NOW.
He does not want to go. I understand his fear - he'll go in but won't come out - but at the same time I'm terrified that unless he's admitted, we'll lose both him and Bella. She's on this side of a break down. Emotional, nervous, physical. In the last 2 months, she's lost over 40lbs.
Her mom, my grandmother-in-law, has deteriorated in long-term care: she's now living in WWII -era Soviet Union. She's forever asking if she's installed in a military or civilian complex. She tries to hide her Star of David pendant in case of persecution. At every meal she steals bread or crackers, hiding them in her room. She'll then try to get Bella to smuggle the food out, to make sure the family is fed.
*sigh*
We're on our way back to Edmonton tonight. Hopefully, we'll be able to convince Yury to go to the hospital. I can at least give Bella a few days off. Cooking, cleaning, all the very mundane chores, I can do. She can spend time with her grandchildren. Rest. Sleep. I don't know what else I can do, not until I get there.
I'm also going to kick my brother-in-law's ass. (Yes, I can jump that high.) Useless piece of shit. Grr. So angry at him. He is 26, still lives at home - he is a very successful business man, I don't want to imply he's a slacker or anything - brings his girlfriend - sorry, fiance home every night but neither of them do anything to help. Laundry, cooking, cleaning.. nada. They are too busy planning their hastily decided upon wedding (another HUGE fucking source of stress for Bella - she's not a fan of the idea. Or even of the fiance, for that matter).
It's chaos there.
M. is already in tears just considering that his father is this close to dying. Not that he was in denial about the cancer, but being so far away, it's easy to assume the best. Yury was originally told he had 6 months to live. That was 5 years ago. The last two months have been a dramatic decline and it's difficult to imagine him as sick as Bella describes him to be.
I'm desperately wanting to hide in the bathroom and cry cry cry. I know, it's incredible selfish. And I won't do it, not yet. My kids are scared (of course we told them - walking into the house and seeing their grandfather will be a shock. There's nothing to keep secret) and my husband is already mourning. Now is not the time for me to pull a pity party. That will come later, and more likely than not, you the reader(s) will be the lovely listeners-to. I'll set up disclaimers, no worries.
Slight change of plans (tenuous at best): we leave tomorrow instead. Still waiting on insurance/RCMP/carpenters at the job, so it might be too late tonight to hit the road for 450km. That's a long haul after a stressful day.
We'll see how tonight feels for us and make a decision from there.
soundtrack:
In another journal galaxy far far away, I wrote an entry about my father-in-law, Yury. Mr. Cranky Pants. Mr. I-Make-Grumpy-Old-Men-Look-Like-Pansy-Ass-Dancing-Nancies-Wearing-Bunny-Slippers. You get the idea.
He has cancer and is dying. Soon. The pot (the good illegal kind, not the medically prescribed but useless shit) isn't working. He won't eat but still is spending his days throwing up.
Because he's a proud man, I'm not going to go into the other aspects of how weak he is. But Bella, my mother-in-law, can't help him anymore. She is too weak and tired. On Monday, they were to start home care, with a nurse in every day to tend to him. Mom doesn't think he'll last that long unless he gets into the hospital, NOW.
He does not want to go. I understand his fear - he'll go in but won't come out - but at the same time I'm terrified that unless he's admitted, we'll lose both him and Bella. She's on this side of a break down. Emotional, nervous, physical. In the last 2 months, she's lost over 40lbs.
Her mom, my grandmother-in-law, has deteriorated in long-term care: she's now living in WWII -era Soviet Union. She's forever asking if she's installed in a military or civilian complex. She tries to hide her Star of David pendant in case of persecution. At every meal she steals bread or crackers, hiding them in her room. She'll then try to get Bella to smuggle the food out, to make sure the family is fed.
*sigh*
We're on our way back to Edmonton tonight. Hopefully, we'll be able to convince Yury to go to the hospital. I can at least give Bella a few days off. Cooking, cleaning, all the very mundane chores, I can do. She can spend time with her grandchildren. Rest. Sleep. I don't know what else I can do, not until I get there.
I'm also going to kick my brother-in-law's ass. (Yes, I can jump that high.) Useless piece of shit. Grr. So angry at him. He is 26, still lives at home - he is a very successful business man, I don't want to imply he's a slacker or anything - brings his girlfriend - sorry, fiance home every night but neither of them do anything to help. Laundry, cooking, cleaning.. nada. They are too busy planning their hastily decided upon wedding (another HUGE fucking source of stress for Bella - she's not a fan of the idea. Or even of the fiance, for that matter).
It's chaos there.
M. is already in tears just considering that his father is this close to dying. Not that he was in denial about the cancer, but being so far away, it's easy to assume the best. Yury was originally told he had 6 months to live. That was 5 years ago. The last two months have been a dramatic decline and it's difficult to imagine him as sick as Bella describes him to be.
I'm desperately wanting to hide in the bathroom and cry cry cry. I know, it's incredible selfish. And I won't do it, not yet. My kids are scared (of course we told them - walking into the house and seeing their grandfather will be a shock. There's nothing to keep secret) and my husband is already mourning. Now is not the time for me to pull a pity party. That will come later, and more likely than not, you the reader(s) will be the lovely listeners-to. I'll set up disclaimers, no worries.
Slight change of plans (tenuous at best): we leave tomorrow instead. Still waiting on insurance/RCMP/carpenters at the job, so it might be too late tonight to hit the road for 450km. That's a long haul after a stressful day.
We'll see how tonight feels for us and make a decision from there.
soundtrack:
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