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Bleah, April
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Tuesday, April 21, 1998


    Look out California, I'm licensed to drive!!! Whoo-hoo!

    I woke up around 6am this morning, still tense about another stressful evening. I realized recently that I'm pretty depressed these days. Part of me wants to blame April (I always get depressed in April; something about all this beauty underscoring my lethargic lifestyle . . .), but there's some concrete reasons, too. I've suffered several big disappointments lately and sometimes it doesn't feel worth the effort to work things out. It's been hard to remind myself that this is just temporary and things are bound to change.




    One thing that I'm thinking about changing is my job. Or my career-path, I should say. There's a good chance I'm going to get technical training soon. Maybe I'll like it, maybe I'm just afraid . . .

    I hope no one at work reads this.

    So, I was thinking about going back to school and getting my teaching degree. I've got an English degree, which right now is good enough to teach in Oakland, as there is a shortage of teachers. I think they've declared an emergency, so that you can teach while working towards your degree. I should look into taking a class or two this summer, so I can get a job teaching high school English this fall.

    Sure, I'm scared. It's hard to leave a job when you've already got one; especially when it's going to be alot of work and a significant pay cut. Plus, I've only substituted in Indiana, which isn't exactly a diverse location. Oakland could be challenging.




    To skip back up to the first line of today's entry (hey, it's a diary, not an essay), I woke up at 6am and decided, hey, I might as well go try for my license. I had an appointment on Thursday, but I was afraid I'd have to take the test again and since David is leaving on Sunday, and I have to drive his car/housesit/and take care of Jasmine, his kitty, I thought the sooner the better. (Yes, I know that the previous sentence was a run-on. I want to teach Literature, not Grammar). So I woke up David (who was sleeping so sweetly, *sigh*) and had him drive me to the DMV. I looked like hell (David says, "It's your driver's license, it's supposed to be a bad photo"), but, hey, I only missed 2 (out of 35 or so - I could only miss 5 total)! In CA, they take your picture, give you a piece of paper (an interim license), and mail the real one to you in 4 weeks! Harumph! At least they let me keep my expired Indiana license so I have something to show when I get carded!


    My mom asked about the woman under the train (see April 16th entry). Yes, I checked the paper the next day. I checked several, and there was no mention of the accident. This frightened me even more; they announced the delay as due to a "medical emergency", which I hear on BART trains about once every 2 months or so. To think it is so common an occurrence as to not even make the paper!!





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