Hi there.

So, I've tried and failed several times to write about Folsom Street Fair, and each time I'm too worried that I'm revealing too much of myself. I'm having one of those weeks where I want to run and hide. I put up old entries, thinking that reading about a younger, more innocent me would help. An hour later I'm seized by the urge to take down every journal entry I've ever posted. I send email, then reread what I just sent off to an unsuspecting friend and cringe in horror.

What's up with me?

I have not one dab of sense over what is appropriate these days. If moving to California skewed my sense of what was appropriate conversation to the rest of the country, and working two years at a sex toy company skewed it even further, then spending 11 hours at Folsom Street Fair on Sunday completely destroyed it. My sense of decorum is no longer. Let us all have a moment of silence.

Richard was telling me yesterday that after every Folsom there's a rash of apologetic phone calls that circulate in the gay community. His cell phone was ringing a lot more than usual at work, and each time he answered it and then had a few mintues of, "Yeah, yes, you did. No, it's ok. Honey, honey, calm down, it was Folsom Street. We all do stuff like that! Of course I forgive you!"

Heh.

The thing is, I honestly didn't do much more than aggressive flirting at Folsom (some of it in front of my bosses, though they didn't seem to mind one jot). But I feel kinda dirty. Naughty, but not quite in a good way, at least not all the time. I think maybe I'm embarrassed by the things I was *thinking* at Folsom Street Fair, things I can't seem to get out of my head.

Sigh.

Anyway, I'm still limping around. I stood for 11 hours or so on Sunday, and my body is just not used to that kind of thing. I've taken a long, hot bath every night this week, and I still can't feel the two little toes on my left foot. My feet are still swollen. And, despite all the baths, I feel intermitently dirty.

Yeah, I'll get over it. Just thought I'd explain why I'm not writing about Folsom yet.

I'll try to post a more normal entry later on. I have been doing other stuff than hobbling around, feeling ashamed. Really.