Cylindrical Primate Storage Unit

Killer Klowns from Oakbrook, IL

jlake@jlake.com — Mon, 20 Sep 04 08:30:00 UT

http://www.qctimes.com/internal.php?story_id=1035268&l=1&t=Columnists&c=47,1035268

Camanche road sprouts Ronald McDonald dolls
By Bill Wundram

When Eric Dau and his wife, Sherrise, drove into their mobile home court in Camanche in the darkness of early Wednesday morning, he says they were startled and frightened to see what was in the roads ahead of them. There were neat rows as if in painted yellow lines hundreds of Ronald McDonald dolls.

"It was eerie, frightening," says Dau, who is corrections officer for the Clinton County sheriffs office. Why all those 14-inch stuffed dolls, with ceramic faces, had been so carefully placed in the middle of a half-dozen roads in Cedar Heights, is a mystery from "Twilight Zone."

(much more at site)

Chocolypse Now

jlake@jlake.com — Tue, 14 Sep 04 06:02:00 UT

http://www.freese-design.com/choc1.htm

Chocolypse Now

A sequel to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory crossed with Heart of Darkness in e-comic form.

(Thanks to the Forteana list!)

Clowns Without Borders

jlake@jlake.com — Tue, 14 Sep 04 06:01:00 UT

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/shared/spl/hi/picture_gallery/04/middle_east_clowns_without_borders/html/1.stm

Clowns Without Borders

Clowns Without Borders is a group of Barcelona-based street artists. Their stated mission is to perform in places where happiness is at a premium. These pictures follow them on a recent tour in the West Bank and Gaza Strip. Photographs by Eitan Abramovich/AFP

(Thanks to the Forteana list!)

I Don't Kick Puppies

jlake@jlake.com — Mon, 16 Aug 04 06:48:00 UT

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/35218073.html

(A personal ad from Craig's list...)

I don't kick puppies! - 24

1. Abstract.
Date me.

2. Introduction.
Hi, my name is __________.

2.1. Appearance.
I am about 6 feet tall (although I was recently made aware that I might only be 5'11 and a half). I have blonde hair, and my eyes are either blue or grey.
I weigh approximately 175 pounds (subject to g = 9.8 m/ss), and am neither a dragon nor a pinata.

(Much more at site.)

(Thanks to D for pointing this out to me.)

Viking Attacks

jlake@jlake.com — Mon, 16 Aug 04 06:47:00 UT

http://gazis.best.vwh.net/Vikings.htm

Procedure to Follow in the Event That Building 245 is Attacked by Vikings

Since the decline of the Carolingian Empire in the 10th century, Building 245 of the NASA Ames Research Center has been subject to periodic raids by Viking marauders. These marauders generally attack in search of gold, religious icons, and other forms of plunder. The NASA Ames Barbarian Affairs Office has established the following procedures for defense against Viking raids:

(Much more at site.)

Fear of Hell Might Fire Up Economy

jlake@jlake.com — Thu, 12 Aug 04 11:16:00 UT

http://www.stlouisfed.org/publications/re/2004/c/pages/fear_of_hell.html

Fear of Hell Might Fire Up the Economy

July 29, 2004

Editors Note: Below is a new version of this article, which discusses recent research in economics regarding a possible relationship between economic growth and religion. It is the second revision that has been posted. In both the original version and the first revision, the article ended with a discussion of simple correlations between countries religiosity, levels of corruption and per capita incomes. The purpose of these discussions was to use a very simple framework to illustrate the results found in the literature. Because the discussion did not go any deeper than simple correlations, it was never intended to be a substitute for serious statistical analysis.

Thanks to the keen eyes of a number of readers, however, we have discovered that the charts used in both of these versions of the article contained errors. Consequently, the version below does not include discussions of the correlations between religiosity, corruption and per capita income. It is important to note that this has no bearing on the results in the literature that are discussed in the article. It is not uncommon, for example, for simple correlations between two variables to provide different answers from regressions that control for a longer list of variables.

I would like to apologize to any of our readers who have been inconvenienced by this series of corrections. In addition, I would like to thank all of those who picked up on the errors and let us know about them.

(article follows at site)

The Lake Champlain Monster Lives!

jlake@jlake.com — Wed, 4 Aug 04 07:41:00 UT

http://www.pressrepublican.com/Archive/2004/08_2004/080220046.HTM

By DAN HEATH, Staff Writer

CHAMPLAIN Seeing is believing.

Five Maryland residents vacationing here say they had a close encounter with Champ, Lake Champlains lurking legend last week.

"I was born in Champlain. I never believed in Champ or the Loch Ness monster," said Bob Gload of Crofton, Maryland. "I believe now."

Bob and four of his grandchildren were enjoying a quiet Wednesday afternoon of bass fishing.

At around 3 p.m., he piloted his 1962 Crestliner to the middle of the lake, partway between Point Au Fer and Isle La Motte, Vt.

Gload, 10-year-old Russell Crim and 7-year-old Kaylee Gload were near the stern, facing Isle La Motte. Matthew Crim, 10, and Taylor Gload, 12, were on the boats bow, facing Chazy Landing.

"We heard a seagull crying. It was flapping around in the water about 150 yards away," Taylor said.

Matthew yelled there were three muskies trying to get a seagull, alerting Bob.

"I turned around and saw that explosion from the water. I saw three humps, two- to three-feet tall, about four- or five-feet apart," Bob said.

Taylor scrambled to get the camera, but by then it was too late. The creature had slipped back beneath the water.

"We watched, and it resurfaced farther north, then that was it," Bob said. "It appeared to be undulating, like the way a snake moves."

He quickly looked around to see if any other boats were nearby, but they were alone.

"It was a very calm day. There were no ripples on the water at all," Bob said.

All five saw the creature. Bob said Kaylee appeared a little frightened by what she saw.

"I wasnt scared," she said.

She described the creature as a dark, dark black color, while Russell said it had a snake-like shape.

"I though right away it was Champ," Russell said.

The visitors have been keeping an eye out in the days following their sighting.

"Weve been watching with binoculars off and on since then," Matthew said.

"Well keep watching," Taylor said. "Maybe well get a picture of it next time."

There are reports of a similar creature, Chessie, which is believed to inhabit Chesapeake Bay, near where the Gload and Crim families live.

"Ive always wanted to believe in Chessie. Now that Ive seen this, it definitely could exist," Taylor said. "I imagine it could be a plesiosaur, like the Loch Ness monster is supposed to be."

While the four youngsters say they werent afraid of Lake Champlains monster, none of them is eager to go swimming.

"Im kind of creeped out something that big is out there," Taylor said.

He might go back in the water, as long as some others go with him.

"At least if theres someone with you, it can eat the other people first," Taylor said.

Bob said hes been fishing in that area for more than 60 years, but this was a first.

"This was different because of the seagull," he said. "Muskies have been known to eat small baby ducks, but Ive never heard of one eating a seagull."

The Gloads and Crims were visiting the North Country for a family reunion. With more than 150 family members gathered over the weekend at Cumberland Head State Park, it was going to be a great opportunity for the five witnesses to tell their tale.

"Half of them wont believe it. Theyll say it was probably waves or muskies," Bob said.

"All I know is Ive been fishing a long time, and Ive never seen anything like that."

(You knew it was coming...)

Personal VTOL Aircraft

jlake@jlake.com — Tue, 3 Aug 04 10:25:00 UT

http://www.millenniumjet.com/

UWe are pleased to announce on October 20th 2003 Springtail, our fourth generation single person Vertical Takeoff and Landing (VTOL) aircraft successfully completed its first untethered hover. The test was short, lasting about a minute, but Springtail was remarkably stable and under control. Two weeks later, on November 5th 2003, Springtail made its first transition to forward free-flight. Again the flight was short, about sixty feet and lasted approximately half a minute..

Jeremy here, filling in for Jay. Check out the photos of this monstrosity. Some might ask, "haven't we invented enough embarassing ways to kill ourselves?" The clear answer to that is, no. No, we haven't.

Underwater Petrified Forests

jlake@jlake.com — Tue, 3 Aug 04 08:57:00 UT

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story2&u=/ap/20040803/ap_on_re_us/petrified_alaska

NGA ISLAND, Alaska - If you want to stroll through the only forest in the Shumagin Islands, you have to wear rubber boots and wait until the tide goes out.

In the Shumagins, where the wind never seems to stop, the few live trees were planted by people. But along a stretch of beach on the northwest corner of Unga Island, there's a grove that hasn't grown for millions of years.

Wind and water have worn away a 50-foot bluff to reveal a forest of petrified tree stumps that appear to be marching into the ocean. Unga is the largest of the dozen or so Shumagin Islands, 570 miles southwest of Anchorage near the tip of the Alaska Peninsula.

"It's like there was a great big Paul Bunyan chopped them off all even," said Bill Dushkin, president of Shumagin Corp., the Alaska Native village corporation for Sand Point, which owns the land under the trees.

The trees are one of the oddities of Alaska, right up there with warm-blooded dinosaur fossils found north of the Brooks Range on the North Slope. The trees are believed to be sequoia, which grow in northern California, or metasequoia, now found mostly in China. Neither apparently have any business being so far north.

The petrified forest, much of it below tide line, covers about five miles of beach. On a sunny day, the petrified tree stumps stand out white and bright against the gray-black beach rock. From the bluff, they look like marshmallows on charcoal.

Living on the Bones of Dead Whales

jlake@jlake.com — Fri, 30 Jul 04 06:26:00 UT

http://news.com.au/common/story_page/0,4057,10289267%255E1702,00.html

Strange worm species discovered

From correspondents in Washington

July 30, 2004

TWO strange new species of worms, without eyes, stomachs or mouths, have been discovered living on the bones of dead whales in California's Monterey Bay in research led by an Australian scientist.

"Who knows what we can learn here," researcher Robert Vrijenhoek told the latest edition of the Science journal.

"There are many things left to discover in this world. Some we find by accident ... and some we find because we look in places that few people have explored before, as in much of our work in the deep oceans."

In this case, it was a bit of both, because the unexpected discovery was made about 9400 feet below the surface.

Lead researcher Greg Rouse, of the South Australian Museum, said deep-sea exploration continued to reveal "biological novelties".

(More at site...)

(Thanks to the Forteana list!)

Don Martin Dictionary

jlake@jlake.com — Thu, 29 Jul 04 14:08:00 UT

http://www.collectmad.com/madcoversite/dmd-alphabetical.html

For all you Mad maniacs...

(Thanks to Alfred E. "JedH" Newman)

Lawrence Olivier Unavailable for Comment

jlake@jlake.com — Wed, 28 Jul 04 19:30:00 UT

http://film.guardian.co.uk/news/story/0,12589,1270087,00.html

Laurence Olivier is to make his Hollywood comeback alongside Jude Law and Gwyneth Paltrow in the sci-fi blockbuster Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow. It will be the Oscar-winning actor's first screen role following an enforced 15-year lay-off. The lay-off began, understandably enough, with his death in 1989.

(Much more at site.)

(Thanks to ChrisJ!)

Emotional Cars

jlake@jlake.com — Wed, 28 Jul 04 19:26:00 UT

http://www.iht.com/articles/531134.html

A car that winks, laughs and cries

Sabra Chartrand NYT

Monday, July 26, 2004

The expression "road rage" usually refers to infuriated drivers who lose their temper and lash out at other motorists. But what if a car could also express anger, crouching low on its wheel base and glowering with red headlights like a lion about to pounce?

Four inventors working for Toyota in Japan have won a patent for a car that they say can help drivers communicate better by glaring angrily at another car cutting through traffic as well as appear to cry, laugh, wink or just look around.

(More at site...)

(Thanks to JedH!)

Trash Log

jlake@jlake.com — Tue, 27 Jul 04 07:22:00 UT

http://www.trashlog.org/

High concept Internet art. Kind of cool.

(Thanks to JeremyT!)

The End of the World

jlake@jlake.com — Wed, 21 Jul 04 13:16:00 UT

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/endofworld.html

Loud but worksafe, pretty darned funny.

(Thanks to Tiger Lily!)