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2008-06-10 10:01 AM
Additional Scandal in the Obama Camp
Saw this today.
Followed immediately by this:
LUDICROUS, MO-- Scandal continued to rock the Obama camp today as back-to back revelations snet the Illinois Senator's campaign into damage control mode.
The potentially embarrassing situation first came to light when it was uncovered that Senator Obama purchased an, "Oreo Cookie Milkshake," last Saturday from a McDonald's restaurant while campaigning in South Central Western South Dakota. Campaign aides for Senator McCain later discovered that the clerk that rang the order, Miss Tabitha Shirkwork, had consumed a discarded Hamburger from a Happy Meal prepared by accident earlier in the year. Miss Shirkwork declined our request for an interview, but a statement by her girlfriend, Mandy Whassup, stated, "She was hungry. It was an extra. They were just going to throw it out, anyway . . ."
"Such conspicuous consumption and misappropriation of company assets is particularly troublesome," a senior aide from the McCain camp stated, "considering the state of our economy and the dire conditions facing small business owners across this great land. We fully expect Senator Obama to make an immediate apology to the American public and schedule a . . .ahem, cleansing as soon as possible. God Bless America, by the way."
The spokesman for Senator Obama's campaign called the charge, " . . .ludicrous. It's just like the Republican Party to make a hysterectomy out of a Happy Meal."
Further complicating the democrat's efforts to move forward on issues was the discovery that Senator Obama's oldest daughter, Malia, paid for his Father's Day present this year with proceeds obtained from an unlicensed lemon-aide stand run over the summer.
"We fully expect that in this time of economic uncertainty, Senator Obama will live up to his promise of increased regulatory oversight and demand the immediate resignation of Malia Obama from the Obama family," the senior McCain official added, between flossing his teeth and installing new batteries in the Arizona Senator's hearing aid. "Are you kidding me?" he continued. "Senator Obama doesn't think it's a good idea to vet his SENIOR CHILDREN?"
When pressed for a comment on the second revelation from the McCain camp, Senator Obama simply blinked twice and walked away, refusing to answer the question.
Welcome to the general election, friends. And you thought the Primaries were bad . . .
Joseph Haines, signing off from The Edge of the Abyss.
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