A Peaceful Place To Be

A no brainer

jhaines50@comcast.net — Mon, 18 Aug 08 06:14:00 UT

An e-mail from Ireland to all of their brethren in the States...a point to ponder despite your political affiliation:

'We, in Ireland, can't figure out why you people are even bothering to hold an election in the United States.

On one side, you had a pants wearing female lawyer, married to another lawyer who can't seem to keep his pants on, who just lost a long and
heated primary against a lawyer, who goes to the wrong church, who is married to yet another lawyer, who doesn't even like the country her
husband wants to run!

Now...On the other side, you have a nice old war hero whose name starts with the appropriate 'Mc' terminology, married to a good
looking younger woman who owns a beer distributorship !!

What in God's name are ya lads thinkin over in the colonies !

My Naked pics

jhaines50@comcast.net — Sun, 3 Aug 08 07:12:00 UT

Went to have the film developed and nothing was on them. Ha Ha Ha. Made ya look!

New family members

jhaines50@comcast.net — Tue, 29 Jul 08 19:01:00 UT

Well, it looks like I gots a whole herd now. One mama cat took up residence under my deck and had 3 kittens. All female. All got pregnant. All stayed under the deck. Now there are 14. trying to spay and neuter them all but they are multiplying faster than I can catch them. So, rescue me Craigslist. I found a 4 year old german shepherd for free so I adopted him. His name is Toby. Smart as a whip. He chased cats for a while but they finally got used to him and they don't run anymore. One of the kittens is handicapped but I don't know what it is. He is fine sometimes. During those times he struts around like a lion with his nose in the air. So I named him Leo. But when he gets goofy and bandy-legged, I just call him "Tard". ;) He is so brave he walks up to Toby while he is eating and sticks in nose in Toby's food dish. Toby full-out barked at Tard nose to nose and I thought Tard was gonna lose his head. Dang cat didn't even flinch. Is that tarded or what? (Can you tell my new favorite movie is "Idiocracy"). Anyone want a kitten? ;)

Perspective

jhaines50@comcast.net — Fri, 11 Jul 08 05:15:00 UT

One winter, a little bird was sitting on the tree limb, shivering from the cold. It gets so cold that the bird freezes and falls to the ground. Along comes a cow and takes a dump on the little bird. Well, the warmth thaws the little bird out. He is nice and warm now. But now he is trapped under the cow patty and it is getting hard to breathe. He starts chirping his little beek off asking for someone to help him. Along comes a cat who hears the little bird and digs him out. The little birdie thanks the cat profusely for saving him at which point the cat eats the little bird.

MORAL: Not everyone who gets you into shit is your enemy and not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.

If it helps

jhaines50@comcast.net — Thu, 3 Jul 08 14:19:00 UT

Student loan changes.

http://www.hurherald.com/cgi-bin/db_scripts/articles?Action=user_view&db=articles_hurherald&id=29766

History repeats itself?

jhaines50@comcast.net — Tue, 10 Jun 08 21:58:00 UT

Subject: 1850

Do you know what happened this week back in 1850, 158 years ago?

California became a state.

The State had no electricity.

The State had no money.

Almost everyone spoke Spanish.

There were gunfights in the streets.

So basically, it was just like it is today, except the women had real
breasts and the men didn't hold hands.

Doing your Part

jhaines50@comcast.net — Fri, 11 Apr 08 06:00:00 UT

The federal government is sending each and every one of us a $600 rebate. If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China. If we spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs. If we purchase a computer it will go to India. If we purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala. If we purchase a car it will go to Japan. If we purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan and none of it will help the American economy. The only way to keep that money here at home is to buy prostitutes and beer, since these are the only products still produced in the US. Thank you for your help.
Signed,
Governor Spitzer

Six Georges

jhaines50@comcast.net — Thu, 3 Apr 08 18:38:00 UT

Got my review. Got additional six Georges per sixty minutes. I'll take it. Now I can breathe.

Perfect Jobs

jhaines50@comcast.net — Mon, 24 Mar 08 12:28:00 UT

I was browsing the Monster job postings and ran across a position that just has to be one of the number 1 jobs there are. Mammography Technician....need I say more? Talk about job satisfaction! ;^)

Dinner AND Comedy

jhaines50@comcast.net — Sat, 8 Mar 08 11:38:00 UT

Well, The better half and I went out to dinner last nite for my B-day. We were promptly waited on by our waiter who took our order and brought it 15 minutes later. So, we finished our meal and were waiting for our waiter to return with our check.(We hadn't seen him since he brought the food.) And we waited. And waited. Finally the wife made a comment and another waitress overheard it. She asked what was wrong and we told her we were waiting a LONG time for our check but the waiter hasn't been back. She turns, yells his name across the resturant, and says "They are ready to order breakfast now!!!" We about fell out of our chairs we were laughing so hard. Everyone in the place cracked up. Needless to say, the waiter was mortified, but brought the check immediately. We gave him a tip just for the laugh. That waitress should be doing standup.

Help Me find a Kaiser in the Philly area

jhaines50@comcast.net — Mon, 3 Mar 08 19:22:00 UT

If anyone in the Philadelphia area knows of a Kaiser hospital around here please let me know. A good friend is in need of O positive and I would like to help.

Saturday Nite Jam

jhaines50@comcast.net — Sat, 23 Feb 08 20:09:00 UT

We had our bi monthly Jamfest tonight. A good time was had by all.

Let it snow, Let It snow....

jhaines50@comcast.net — Sat, 23 Feb 08 11:40:00 UT

Isn't there a Christmas song that goes something like "Let it snow, Let it Snow, somewhere else." We just got hit with our first snow of the season. About 6 inches. Netta, some of your weather spilled over onto us. You should probably come get it. ;)

Tribute to Anthony

jhaines50@comcast.net — Sun, 17 Feb 08 19:16:00 UT

I believe we lost a future great one when Anthony was hit by that car.

Article

His Myspace

He will be missed.

Tragic Loss

jhaines50@comcast.net — Mon, 11 Feb 08 17:26:00 UT

http://www.phillyburbs.com/pb-dyn/news/113-02112008-1485985.html

This is my neice's only son. He was to graduate this June and was going to enter film school. His goal was directing/Producing. He was one of the good ones. He would do anything for you and I never remember seeing him raise his voice or even get angry. He was very talented and the world has lost a piece of something truly good. He will be missed greatly.