First of all...thank you all so much for your good wishes and happy thoughts...they are more appreciated than you could possibly know.

In my last blog, I said there was more going on in my life than this cancer war but I guess that wasn't really the truth.

This battle isn't as easy as the first one. I have red blood cells acting up, white cells on strike and hair falling out by the handful.

Everything but the hair requires testing after testing, which means needles after needles. Thank heaven I have the port now so at least that part is less painful than the constant search for a "good vein".

I was sitting in the chemo chair today staring at my poor little toes that stared back at me pleading for a pedicure. There was a time when I could chop off those ugly looking nails but the older I get, the thicker and meaner they have become so I have to go for professional help..ya know the big guns...a tiny little Vietnames girl who weights about 80 pounds soaking wet can tackle the monsters with ease...paint them a pretty color and make me feel like a new woman. Its worth treking up and down the highway picking up throw-a-way cans for the refund money!:)

My social life is very exciting these days...chemo today...thursday a trip back to the hospital for a shot to encourage the white cells to get to work...Monday a bone marrow test...Tuesday another appt with Dr. Hitler to decide the next step...and, if I'm lucky, another chemo treatment on Thursday. Might be more fun if there were drinking and dancing going on but alas...there's only CNN news on the community tv.....auuuuugh!

By this time tomorrow I will have a shiny bald head...what little hair that's left looks like a poofy dandelion and I'm afraid somebody will heave a deep breath and blow it all away...so, I'll shave it and polish it up for display.

I was given a new wig today by the cancer society...looks just like a wig so I'm not sure how often I'll wear it. I do have a good friend who is a hairdresser and she promised to take a look at it and see if she could put some style to it.

I also have a few hats....my favorite is the "Super Bitch" hat, but I don't really mind if people see me with a bald head...really...I look kinda cute...expecially if I wear long, dangly earrings.

I might look around for a Peppi Longstocking wig...or maybe Princess Lea...there's lots of possibilities. After all, an opportunity like this doesn't come to everyone...might as well have some fun dontcha think?

I could even save some money on my Halloween costume this year...one tootsie pop and viola...Telly Savalas!

One nice thing about being low on energy, I get to spend a lot of time sitting on the porch watching the babies of spring grow into their own.

There are a couple of families of wild turkeys...nearly 20 of them...there's a half dozen or so of deer....a huge buck who more than likely not make it through hunting season..a couple of does and 4 or 5 fawns...they are so beautiful.

The hummingbird feeder has been taken over by butterflys..I couldn't count how many there are...they just cover the feeder totally. The hummers buzz down from time to time trying to get their share, but the butterflys don't give ground...wish you could see them...they are so lovely.

There are bunnies everywhere, the raccoons and opossums, an occasional groundhog or fox and the coyotes howling off in the distance.

The cows in the pasture next door are growing big fat bellies that promise new calves in a few weeks.

The toads in the pond sing their harmony in the evening and keep the mosquitos at bay.

Mostly I think about how good my life is...how blessed I am to have children who love me and medical folks who want to heal me. However, there are also those moments when I fall into the self pity pot. Its then that I realize how much luckier I am than the idiots who spent their summer on Big Brother!

Life is good.

hugs and kisses to each of you...thanks for caring.