kindredspirit

moving on

kindred_spirit_57@yahoo.com — Thu, 28 Apr 05 12:50:00 UT

for a variety of reasons i'm moving this operation to an e-mail format. i'll be using my personal email address anne@shotwell.com and i'll do an e-gleanings mailing several times a week. depending on your spam protection settings this might go straight to your inbox or it might go straight to your delete or bulk mail box. i've added each of the kindredspirit subscribers addresses to the e-gleanings list (and a few others as well).
i'll see you in the funny papers. anne

trilium trail

kindred_spirit_57@yahoo.com — Sat, 23 Apr 05 06:50:00 UT

a couple of days ago in my blog i asked whether any of you knew where i might find a good stand of trilium. i'm so glad i had asked that question, because within just a few days i was given the answer.

yesterday i asked the question again on a road trip with friends. then in the midst of the road trip we found the answer . . . together.

a good friend organized a day trip to celebrate another good friend's birthday (was it your 50th birthday???) we drove from all different corners of the state of VA to meet in raphine VA at the buffalo springs herb farm. since none of us had ever been there before, the founder of this feast went to find out more about what we might see/do at this herb farm. the first thing she learned was that the trilium were in bloom on the nature trail across the road. of course we did that first!

we found a creek banked by a natural setting dotted with hundreds of pale pink trilium. (trilium are a wonderful example of the trinity because they have three petals forming one flower.) it looked like God had planted them there but sometimes skillful landscape designers can fool the eye, so i'm not certain of this. at any rate, they were in full bloom and gorgeous!

on the way to raphine the friend whose birthday we were celebrating spoke about wanting to see another mutual friend who lives in another part of the state. she spoke her desire out loud. then when we got to raphine, this friend was there as a part of the party.

these two events lead me to ask one of my deepest questions out loud today. WHAT AM I MEANT TO DO NOW? in the past i've been a student, a teacher, a hands-on mom, a writer, a retail sales worker and a volunteer. i've absolutely loved each of these parts of my life.

when it was time to move to the next hopscotch block of my life, i've always felt restless. last fall when it was time for me to leave chico's i felt restless. for the last 6 months i've invented my schedule each day/week---sometimes with great creativity, sometimes not. i'm feeling restless again now. so i'm asking the question.WHAT AM I MEANT TO DO NOW?

if any of you have any insights, please share them.

and if any of you have any questions of your own that you want to speak out loud, please ask them in the comments section, by email, or whatever. just ask them because asking the quesiton might just lead to finding the answer.

humor school

kindred_spirit_57@yahoo.com — Thu, 21 Apr 05 06:41:00 UT

this morning i read a friend's blog and she referred to herself as "Frequently Humorless One". (never can recall the rules for where those punctuation marks go. i've already changed the period's location on that last sentence about five times. i actually own a chicago manual of style but it's on the top floor and i'm on the bottom, and there's one floor in between, so that's way too much effort required to get the punctuation right. thus this discourse so you'll know that i do care a little bit about punctuation, even if i don't care enough to be sure i get it right.)

now back to "Frequently Humorless One." her blog reminded me of the time when someone i love dearly told me i needed to go to humor school. even offered to help pay for it! (and this person didn't have a very big budget at the time.)

some time later i saw a class offered at the smithsonian having to do with humor, so i signed up, recalling the earlier admonition.

did humor school solve all my problems? no way! i actually fell asleep in the first class. . . maybe the second one too. then i simply decided to skip the rest of the humor school classes and go directly to the national gallery of art instead. yes, dear hearts, i am a humor school drop-out!

for years i've labeled myself as humor-impaired or humor-disabled. i don't know how your self-talk goes, but when i lable myself as -impaired or -disabled i sort of give myself permission to accept the impairment or disability as if it were written in stone. when i label myself as -challenged, it has the opposite effect. so today i've changed my label. i may be humor-challenged, but i'm still looking for a laugh.

when i did a brief stint in toastmasters, i discovered some important lessons about my own humor strengths/weaknesses. if i try to "tell a joke" it rarely works. but when i tell a story (especially at my own expense), the laugh lines work. like the time i went to the first day of speech class in college with my dress completely unzipped. . . but that's a blog for another day.

i flunked balance and flexibility

kindred_spirit_57@yahoo.com — Wed, 20 Apr 05 07:22:00 UT

at my first physical therapy appointment i had to stand on my bad foot with my eyes closed. i flunked. the therapist then asked me to do it on my good foot. i still flunked. then she tested me for flexibility. i flunked.

when i go to the gym i usually do a weight routine and sometimes hit the bike for awhile (skipping the treadmill and the eliptical because of my foot and skipping the stretching because i prefer to look dorky in private rather than at the gym.)

so what did my physical therapist prescribe to help my foot problem? mostly balance and stretching exercises (as well as some things to strengthen some weak parts of my foot/ankle).

with a big smile on her face my physical therapist asked me when i'd last walked along a wall or played hopscotch. maybe i need to eat some of those kalonji (from yesterday's first blog) because i'm totally amnesiac on when i last played hopscotch. she explained that there are mind/body connections involved in balance that we all need to be developing and there are tiny muscles that are used in balance that we need to be strengthening.

now when my coffee is brewing or i'm talking on the phone i practice balance by standing on one foot for 30 seconds (eyes open) and then switch (3 sets each foot) or i stretch.

and wherever i go these days i pull out a little soapbox and stand on it (on both feet) and proclaim to the world that balance and flexibility are important. (this last exercise isn't to help my bad foot. rather it's my way of passing on this important stuff i learned in pt.)

hmmm, if i really had a soapbox what kind of soapbox would i have? if i actually stood on said soapbox i'd be advertising/endorsing the soap while standing on the box. i think that's a blog for another day.

what's your current soapbox topic? and how did it get to be your soapbox topic? and what kind of soapbox would you use?

it's supposed to go up to the upper 80's today and i've got to go clean off the last piece of my deck furniture from the winter grunge before it gets to hot. so i'm outta here.

bible blog---john 14.1-14

kindred_spirit_57@yahoo.com — Tue, 19 Apr 05 14:00:00 UT

note: many of you may find this a bit long. don't feel like you need to read it all. i've included it here because there are a group of bloggers who share reflections each week on the current week's lectionary passages. john 14.1-14 is one of this week's passages.
*
in 1992 during lent i meditated/wrote on john 14 and ended up with a longish poem. i'll include only the part on john 14.1-14.
*
MEDITATION ON A LOVE LETTER
1. do not be worried and upset
my friend and Savior said to me
he said it in a letter of love
written expecially for me
(and just as expecially for you, i might add).
do not be worried and upset
my Friend and Savior said to me.
believe in God,
believe in me
and then no matter what your life may offer,
we can manage---just we three---
you and God and me.
2. there are many rooms
in the homeplace of God
and i shall go ahead of you
to ready there a room just for you.
you see we are expecting you to follow.
we have a place that's set aside for you
just for you
and if you do not come to take your place
i guess there'll always be an empty room
among the many room in our house.
so plan ahead to come
to the homeplace we have built---
a homeplace comprised of many room
with one that is ready---
ready just for you.
of course i wouldn't say these things
unless these things were true.
3. just now i go ahead of you.
we cannot both go now,
for i must go prepare the way for you;
but don't be worried and upset
as i said before
for i'll come back to take you to myself
so that you will be where i am.
yes, you can stake your life upon my words---
i will come back to take you to myself
so that you will be where i am.
4. you know the way that leads
to the place that i am going,
for long before the day you were conceived
or even thought of by your parents
God had written on your very heart
the yearning that would draw you back to him.
so deep within the most holy places of your heart
you know the way that leads
to the place that i am going,
and i pray that you will choose to come with me
when i come back to take you to myself
so that you will be where i am.
5. the doubters in this world
may say that they don't know where i'm going
so how can they know the way to go.
but pause and go back, doubting thomas.
go back to the very beginning.
do not be worried and upset.
believe me when i say to you
i will come back and take you to myself
so that you will be where i am.
6. let me say a word to any doubters in the crowd.
i am the way,
and the truth,
and the life.
i am the way to the Father.
i am the word and the author of truth.
i am the source of all life and all light.
i am the way and the truth and the life.
i am your pathway to God. . .
your only pathway to God.
7. now that you have known me
you will also know God
for as you know and see me
you know and see God.
like God, like me.
like me, like God.
8. and philip came with questions and concerns:
couldn't we just see God face to face?
9. my friend and my Savior
could hardly believe what he heard.
i have long been with you all
yet you know me not.
if you've known and seen me
you've known and seen God
so why then do you say these words to me:
couldn't we just see God face to face?
haven't you seen
what i came here to show you in flesh?
10. can you not yet know
within your heart and soul
that i am in God
and God is in me?
that, my dearest philip
is the essence of my life
and it will be the essence
of my death
and my new life
with God.
i am in God
and God is in me.
it sounds very simple---and it is.
it sounds quite profound---and it is.
it was and is and it shall be forever.
i am in God
and God is in me.
these words that i've spoken
as i've walked here by your side,
these words come from God,
they're not my own,
for God remains in me
and does holy work.
i am in God
and God is in me.
11. let this grow to be your own belief:
i am in God
and God is in me;
but if you cannot come to have that faith
believe, at least, because of all the things you've seen me do
for i have done God's work on the earth.
believe because of all that i have done.
12. i am telling you the truth, my friends.
whoever does believe in me
will do what i do.
indeed he will do even greater things,
indeed she will do even greater things
because i go to be with God
and God and i together
can work through the faithful on the earth.
13. and i will do whatever you ask for in my name
so that God's glory
will be shown through the answers to your prayers.
so ask and seek and knock in my name
for there is holy power in my name.
14. whatever you may ask for in my name . . .
(i cannot bring my hand to pen these words
for daddy's dead* although we prayed for life,
and wars are fought,
and homes are lost,
and folks are killed and raped and maimed,
and on and on and on . . .
and people pray to you
and ask a thousand things in your name;
and sometimes the prayers that we pray
seem to be heard, and seem to be answered
in ways that we can't comprehend at the time;
and sometimes, through time,
we all see that prayers have been answered,
and sometimes, through time,
the answer to prayer continues beyond comprehension,
so, Lord, can you help me to set down my pen to the paper;
and, Lord, can you please write this belief on my heart;
and, Lord, can you lead me
to faith in unfathomable mystery.)
whatever you may ask for in my name,
my child, i will do it,
so ask and seek and knock in my name
for there is holy power in my name.
(now i have set the words on the paper,
and together we can write them on my heart.
together, Lord, let's write them on my heart.)
***
*in Feb of 1992 my father died after battling cancer for some time. it really was hard to write those words down

so what is kalonji anyway?

kindred_spirit_57@yahoo.com — Tue, 19 Apr 05 09:39:00 UT

sunday was like christmas. santa gave me 3.5 oz of kalonji and 4 tins of my favorite ginger lozenges, and lent me her copy of traveling mercies by anne lamott on tape. (seems like there was one more thing in that bag, but i don't recall what it was right now.) thanks, santa!
*
so what is kalonji anyway and why might i want 3.5 ounces of it? those are good questions.
*
earlier in the week i'd been out to dinner w/ santa and 2 other wild/wonderful women and i mentioned that i view onions as a food group. then on sunday santa happened upon a bag of kalonji (onion seeds) in the indian food section of a local food emporium. she knew these onion seeds were meant for me.
*
being cautious about trying a new thing, i searched the internet for kalonji and came up with a remarkable list of things kalonji should cure. in fact the web site says "Let fall these black seeds upon you, these contain cure for all diseases except death."
*
i don't even know what half of the diseases/conditions mentioned on the web site mean, but i laughed out loud when i realized that kalonji is supposed to help everything from mad dog bites to amnesia.
*
if i blog about forgetfulness next week, please remind me of this discussion.
*
then i searched on "kalonji recipes" and found a recipe for fish innards that uses a small amount of kalonji. i did NOT bookmark that site for later use.
*
i think maybe i'll just make some mashed potatoes and put a dash of kalonji in to test it's flavor and potency. in the meantime if you have any great recipes that call for kalonji, please put them in the comments section so we can share your wealth.
*
btw, i also view chocolate as a food group.

bluebells

kindred_spirit_57@yahoo.com — Mon, 18 Apr 05 14:14:00 UT

just returned from bull run regional park. it's bluebell season and i walked in a sea of bluebells. if you happen to live in northern va. you might want to take yourself out to see them. the spring beauties are also in full bloom. take 66W to exit 52. take 29 south. take a left on bull run post office road and follow signs to the park. i parked in the lot just before the store and followed the trailhead that took me over a little bridge next to the road. no matter where you live i hope you'll have the chance to get out and see something spectacular this month.

the cherry tree

kindred_spirit_57@yahoo.com — Mon, 18 Apr 05 07:32:00 UT

before we talk about the cherry tree, let me just tell you what my morning reading was today. first i dipped into "why i wake early" by mary oliver (a gift from a reader of these blogs). then i moved on to "the message of the psalms" by walter brueggermann. the poetry was just for the fun of it. the book on the psalms was because tonight i need to lead a discussion on psalms 73-78 at my small group. . . and i often wait until the last minute to prepare for such opportunities (but that's a topic for another time).
*
yesterday when i came out of church there were kids playing in a cherry tree that was just beginning to bloom. (i can't recall the name of this variety of cherry tree, but i hope one of you who knows the tree will share the variety in a comment.) even though i've been a member of this church for awhile, i'd never really focused on this particular tree before. now i don't know how i could have missed it!
*
my old church used to have a tree of the same variety planted by good friends when their young daughter died. for many years i enjoyed seeing kids climb that memorial tree, and one year i even gave the parents a poem i'd written about how the kids playing in the tree was a gift/sign of God's love sent by the young daughter and God. since then that cherry tree has been a special symbol of my friendship with these folks.
*
last year that memorial cherry tree at my old church had to be cut down to make way for a new building. i've been missing the tree ever since. . . and in this blooming season i've really missed it a lot. so yesterday it seemed like a special gift from God (and my friend's daughter who died before i met her) to see kids playing in this cherry tree at my new church.
*
a few of the other plants that speak to me symbolically include gardenias, camellias, daisies, and lilies of the valley. what plants have special meaning for you? and why?

mom-mom

kindred_spirit_57@yahoo.com — Sun, 17 Apr 05 06:09:00 UT

this past winter i attended a memorial service for "mom-mom"---the mother of a friend (who also happens to be a family member). after the funeral when we were back at mom-mom's house for lunch one of her grandkids was looking around for the "snack mat". although i didn't even know what a snack mat looked like, i joined the search. soon it was found and a group of 20-somethings spread the snack mat (which looked like a comforter or quilt to me) in the middle of the beautifully decorated living room, sat down on it, and enjoyed their lunch.
i love the way these kids---who had all spent considerable time at mom-mom's house---still respected her ground rules. and i love the way mom-mom wanted her grandkids and their friends right in the middle of her life and figured out a way to protect the carpet without excluding the grandkids and their friends from her fanciest room.
after lunch i had the chance to see one of the best spots in mom-mom's house. on the ceiling of her bedroom the family had placed a skyfull of those stars that glow in the night after they've been exposed to light. she had seen these stars on the ceilings of her grandkid's bedrooms and liked them, so her family had put some there for her.
i love the thought of mom-mom learning new tricks from her grandkids even up to the very end of her life. and i love it that she could soar through the universe in her dreams every night.
today is the one year anniversary of my own mother's death. tears came every time i tried to settle on what story of her life to share, so i decided to share a story from another mother's life today and tell you about my own mom another time.
if i were one of mom-mom's grandkids, what i'd want most from all of her things would be either the snack mat or one of those stars from her bedroom ceiling.
i'd love to hear some good grandmother/mother stories that you might like to share.

ready or not

kindred_spirit_57@yahoo.com — Sat, 16 Apr 05 13:11:00 UT

about two weeks ago i decided to start a weblog (blog). since then i've been over-analyzing the question of selecting just the right name/format and starting with just the right topic. last night i attended the beginning session of my church's 25th anniversary celebration. a thoughtful and funny juggler suggested that if we are to "soar in the spirit" (the theme for the celebration) we must take some risks. so i've decided that today is the right day to plunge in. (if anyone reading this knows the email address of the juggler, i hope you'll forward info about this blog to him!)

two background notes
--recently when i was with a group of some of my favorite people, my sister gave each of us spools of beautiful ribbon. the other two women received ribbon that was rich yet subtle. mine was wonderfully bright.
--recently i've been going to physical therapy for help with a collapsing arch . . . which happily is getting better bit by bit.
thus this little poem

A HEALING TOUCH

i often wear in-your-face colors.
i often say in-your-face things.
and so it is a wonderment
that healing began
with movement too subtle to sense.

my physical therapist
teased apart the mystery of my pain
and invited the onset of healing---
with movement too subtle to sense.

so, my questions for you include
--are you new to blogging?
--what needs healing today?
--are you a rich yet subtle person or are you in-your-face?

if you're new to this blogging adventure, you might want to know that you just need to click on "read/post comments" to reply on this or any topic. and you just need to click on "subscribe to this journal" to receive an email every time i post a new entry.

some bloggers are anonymous. others are not. can you guess which i've chosen to be???
anne shotwell