The ashes were lighter than the bone chips. So, as the finest ashes floated away in the air and the heavier particles took their time sinking, the tiny gravel-like chips drifted quickly to the bottom of the ocean, shimmering as they reflected the sun.

Bone chips glittering. That's what the day was like. We gathered to perform a service, honoring our friend's wishes and spirit. We each, privately, prepared a small tribute and took turns scattering ashes three and a half miles offshore in the Long Island Sound.

Scattering ashes, if you've never done it, may sound (you choose) grisly, scary, horrible, sad. It's really not, once you've done it. Once you hold the surprisingly heavy (or light) black plastic box that holds the remains of your friend, pry open the lid, open the plastic bag and look in, you see that your friend's not really there. Grey ashes (and some "gravel") is all. Fears disappear and you move forward.

We arrived in three vehicles Sam, Mary Ellen and "Bran" with me, John and Bonnie together and Dale in his red truck all the way from Woodstock. And we were all on time. What a responsible group of creative types. We took a launch out to Captain Lars Hedstrom's sailboat and boarded in the middle of the bay. Captain Lars looks and behaves like the kind of captain you'd want on the boat from which you were about to scatter your friend's ashes. He greeted us, put us at ease with friendly banter and a thorough explanation and set the motor running.

We didn't sail. We used the motor, out of respect for my history of motion sickness. Sailing would've been faster and more thrilling. Putt-putting allowed us to talk, reminisce, laugh and get to know each other and more about Bran. We arrived at the determined longitude/latitude and the captain steered the boat in a small circle while we bid our friend's body farewell.

Each of us, in no particular order, honored the spirit of Bran with a poem, a story, a prayer, tears, a memento or two and climbed to the side of the craft and poured a portion of his ashes into the air and water. After all was said, John shot confetti from his confetti cannon (one of Bran's favorite devices--it really was spectacular), we lay roses and chrysanthemums around the site and headed to shore.

We continued to talk about Bran and our relationships with him, answered questions from the Captain. All trying to fit pieces together of the puzzle that is Bran Jerome Marah / Brian Neu. The efforts and opportunities are not over. Over dinner in a local coffee shop (Bran's favorite type of restaurant) we started making plans for the Memorial Service.

The Memorial Service will take place on Monday, September 18 at the Theater for the New City on First Avenue and 10th Street in NYC at around 7:00 PM. Details in the Comments section (#13) in my previous post.

I hope to include some images, or at least a link to some images, of the scattering before long.

To be continued...