Awakenings, staring Robert De Niro and Robin Williams: this film had somehow escaped me all these years, and I saw it for the first time today. In my humble opinion, it should be hailed as a minor masterpiece. It effortlessly manages to cut through all superficiality and get right down to what it means to be human. In fact, one of the main themes is seeing the person behind surface attributes, and valuing humanity itself. I was moved, and I hope that the kinds of neurological conditions depicted in this movie can be cured one day.

The character Robin Williams plays said a few lines that neatly summed up my own difficulties in interacting socially with people.

“I’m just not very good with people,” I think he said. “I like people, but they scare me. Maybe if they weren’t so unpredictable…”

That’s pretty much the thing with me. The depiction of that character reminded me very much of certain of my own traits. I’m too caught up in worrying about what people may be thinking, whether they’re laughing or sneering, whether they are nice or mean, potentially violent or peaceful, compassionate or secretly hateful, mocking or serious, lying or truthful, etc. I can’t fathom people, can’t see what they’re thinking or what they might do next. As I mentioned in a pervious entry, people often just overwhelm me. A bit autistic of me, maybe, but I can’t help it.

However, there are a few minds out there that I think I’ve made some kind of connection with, minds that shine brightly, however guarded or restrained their actual words might be. It’s hard to explain without putting it down to intuition or ESP or something, but it’s something I feel strongly.

By the way, this isn’t going to be a movie review of Awakenings; I just want to say, if you’ve never seen it or haven’t given it a look for a while, perhaps get a copy and have a look. There’s a message in there for everyone.

Many of us, sometimes myself included, do seem to forget the things that really matter in life. We’re often so busy racing around doing what we think we should be doing that we overlook the simple joy of being alive. Watch the sun setting. Feel the air on your face. Recognize the miracle of it all. Relax and try to see the wonders all around you.

Also, we often form attachments to the wrong things. We enter the world with nothing and leave with nothing, so material treasure is worth far less than we sometimes think. A person is not property - nobody owns you, and you own nobody else. Friendship, trust, and love will matter in the end more than anything you could weigh on a scale. Meaning is there to be found in everything, especially in love. Fear, guilt, and shame only twist us with needless pain and keep us apart. We need to learn from our mistakes, move on, and hold on to each other whenever we can.

For the most part, each of us is alone inside our own head for much of the time, as the days go by in a blur. Along this breakneck rollercoaster, the chances we get to come out and really touch another person, self to self, are too few and far between. If you ever see such a chance, it would be a travesty against yourself to waste it through fear. Fear is like a tiny little gremlin with a huge shadow. Genuine trust is like a pebble you can toss down there to squish him.

Part of it is just about letting go. It’s time to drop some of the chains we carry.