There's a technique for curing phobic people known as "flooding". This is where the person is exposed to the thing they fear at such an overwhelming level that the body and mind are forced to adjust to cope, thus overcoming the fear in question. For example somebody with a fear of water would be thrown into a swimming pool and held there in place. A person with a fear of spiders would be locked in a room full of tarantulas... etc.

Well, anyway, I feel flooded today - with a kind of medicine that hurts but needs to hurt.

Sensory overload again today, actually.

Walk through any busy city on a weekend and even the most insensate person is liable to get a little flustered from time to time - but my world just extended from a tiny four-wall enclosure to a vast expanse of buildings and teeming multitudes. The hermit just peeked out of the cave. The recluse took a trip out on the 57.

Among other things I saw the film Be Cool today on the UGC cinema. It was a fun movie from the start, and Travolta as the main character was on top charismatic form. I'd give it about 4 stars because it made me chuckle out loud a few times with its sardonic humour. The moral of the story, I guess, is just to be cool, completely cool and unshakable in all situations if humanly possible - or at least pretend to be cool even if you can't quite achieve perfect equilibrium.

I’m nowhere near that level yet, but something happened today that makes me think I don’t need somebody predictable and safe. I need somebody feisty and with a lot of spirit – someone who’d compliment my personality and bring me out of myself.

This goes out to the girl on the 57 who spoke to me with those flirtatious vibes. Damn you were beautiful, both to look at and in attitude. Keep giving ‘em hell, and I’m sorry I wasn’t more in tune and responsive.

And my thoughts are going out to those who are hurting, maybe in part because of me. I’m really not that bad, and even when I try to help I usually end up doing the opposite. Sorry guys, and remember that true strength comes from within not without.

Matt, out. Out-there. Earth-dweller once more, but without a plan or a clue…