Viki Hinze, in her post on "personal and professional holiday gatherings," offers a number of insights and suggestions on coping with expectations. This particular passage stood out to me, in part because it struck me as applying to numerous non-December situations as well (it's specifically about a woman who chooses not to attend a Christmas party and catches flak because of it):

Her call, her decision.

Now what measure it took for her to arrive at that decision only she knows.

What measure it would take for one to arrive at such a decision only that one individual knows.

But whatever the measure, it's that individual's and they own it.

In a perfect world, others should and would respect it.

In our world, which is far from perfect, some will and some won't.

Either way, others' respect or resentment isn't something the individual can control.

The individual's concern then is in those things s/he can control. Those things are personal responsibility and accountability: inherent, immutable parts of every personal choice.