The following is a short email I wrote and sent to one of my "host dads" for his 60th birthday on February 17. Jan, his wife, asked a number of friends and family to write something memorable about him. Our family did the same for my mom and dad when they had their 50th Birthday, and I think they REALLY enjoyed the sentiments they received.

******************************************************

Dear Bob,

Happy Birthday!

When Jan asked me to do this, i.e. to "surprise you with a message, sharing some special memory, funny event, nice thing about you," I immediately knew what I wanted to put in this birthday letter. It's something I'll probably never forget -- barring a whopping case of Alzheimer's. I'm curious as to whether you can recollect (without this reminder) what you said on the day I'm about to describe.

Well, Greg has the Opel GT now, but when it was in my possession, there was always something going awry with the car: I was constantly on the phone or the road to Conyers and "Rockdale Imports." (In fact, if I remember correctly, the week or so before this little episode I'm describing, you had actually made an "emergency run" to Conyers in the Suburban to pick me up and tow my little red sports car the remaining distance to the Rockdale garage!) In any event, the Opel had received it's weekly repair and was waiting to be retrieved from its second home.

Lucky for me, you were taking a number of your entomology students (from the Insect Behavior class?) on a field trip to somewhere in the Atlanta area and offered to take me with you, dropping me off at the mechanic's when we got to Conyers. I distinctly remember sitting in the cargo hold of the Suburban, listening to your graduate students exchange pleasantries with you and each other. At one point, however, one of them asked you: "Dr. Matthews, how many kids do you have?" You began to count, starting with the easiest figure, and reported that you had 2 wonderful girls. The boys slowed you down a bit and finally you exclaimed proudly that there were 5 sons in your brood. Something about that struck me as odd, so I held up one of my hands and literally began counting off "Mike, Paul, Greg, Glen..." on my fingers, starting over at the beginning when I got to Glen and landed one shy of my fifth finger. Finally, I decided that you had included me in the count and that I was an honorary member of the Matthew's family. When my assessment was complete, I piped up from the back and corrected you, telling everyone that you "only" had 4 XY-chromosomed offspring. I don't remember your exact response, but I know that instead of saying something like "oh, how silly of me to forget" you let everyone know that I had figured into the final count.

To this day, I'm still not sure whether you just miscounted; inadvertently incorporated me into the count; or, knowing that I was in the car listening, intentionally did so to make me feel that much more a part of the family. No matter what the case, I have always felt like the fifth son in your family and a welcome member of the extended Matthew's clan. So, here on your 60th Birthday, let me reiterate just how much I appreciate the opportunities I have had and still have to live and celebrate with you guys. You, Jan, Mike, Paul, Greg, Wendy, Glen, Emily, Reka, and Bandit have all enriched my life tremendously, and I thank you and the rest for giving me the same kind of love and support I get from my own family!

Again, Thank You and Happy 60th Birthday!

Your 5th,

Jamie