the strange planet inside my head
I got my Myspace layout from pYzam.
Mood:
Annoyed
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i hear voices
it's sunday and im in my jammies with no excuses. i find excuses for the other days of the week, but not sundays. that's the advantage from working (and starving) from home.
speaking of that, i finished and mailed out a quilt to a client... the way i had it set up, they would pay me half, i would make the quilt, then they send me the other half. oohhhh i KNOW you can do the math from here, right??? apparently the couple broke up, but the female half assured me she sent me the money last week, i should get it any day and of course, the mailbox has remained empty.
it was a gorgeous quilt, too, one of my best.
aint self-employment a bitch.
ah well, what can you do? actually, i feel like being a real bitch myself and e-mailing every one i know and telling them i remain unpaid, but i will be patient and see what happens. i emailed her today, i know she opened it.... we'll see.
in the meantime, i have worked on tuffy's quilt (red white and blue, in an hourglass and nine patch pattern) and for my own enjoyment have started a crazy quilt. i love the victorian times (except for their repressed sexuality, i never would have lasted there) and i used to embroider when i was a lot younger. the thing i like the most about being unmarried (or i guess what i should say is unmarried to the lunatic from hell) is i feel i can try new things and even though sometimes i hear a voice say "THATS SO STUPID WHAT ARE YOU THINKING" i know it's not my voice and i can ignore it. most the time.
that voice will catch me at the wierdest times. i wonder if it will ever completely leave me, or if i'm stuck with it until i'm under dirt. why is it so much easier to believe the bad stuff than it is the good stuff? a question to ponder.
i have written so little since tina was diagnosed with ovarian cancer that it got to the point where i was even afraid to try. you know, the fear builds on itself... what if what i write sucks? what if i cant do it anymore? the echos bounce off the walls and get larger and louder and they have no substance. i think getting back into a supportive community has helped immensely. even though i know WHY i went into isolation, and i still feel it was necessary at the time, i dont think i will try that again soon.
it was lonely out there.
speaking of that, i finished and mailed out a quilt to a client... the way i had it set up, they would pay me half, i would make the quilt, then they send me the other half. oohhhh i KNOW you can do the math from here, right??? apparently the couple broke up, but the female half assured me she sent me the money last week, i should get it any day and of course, the mailbox has remained empty.
it was a gorgeous quilt, too, one of my best.
aint self-employment a bitch.
ah well, what can you do? actually, i feel like being a real bitch myself and e-mailing every one i know and telling them i remain unpaid, but i will be patient and see what happens. i emailed her today, i know she opened it.... we'll see.
in the meantime, i have worked on tuffy's quilt (red white and blue, in an hourglass and nine patch pattern) and for my own enjoyment have started a crazy quilt. i love the victorian times (except for their repressed sexuality, i never would have lasted there) and i used to embroider when i was a lot younger. the thing i like the most about being unmarried (or i guess what i should say is unmarried to the lunatic from hell) is i feel i can try new things and even though sometimes i hear a voice say "THATS SO STUPID WHAT ARE YOU THINKING" i know it's not my voice and i can ignore it. most the time.
that voice will catch me at the wierdest times. i wonder if it will ever completely leave me, or if i'm stuck with it until i'm under dirt. why is it so much easier to believe the bad stuff than it is the good stuff? a question to ponder.
i have written so little since tina was diagnosed with ovarian cancer that it got to the point where i was even afraid to try. you know, the fear builds on itself... what if what i write sucks? what if i cant do it anymore? the echos bounce off the walls and get larger and louder and they have no substance. i think getting back into a supportive community has helped immensely. even though i know WHY i went into isolation, and i still feel it was necessary at the time, i dont think i will try that again soon.
it was lonely out there.
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