very restless night, and i remember two fragments of dreams i had. they werent very good ones.

i dreamed my son got someone pregnant. if it happened, i would never know as we dont speak. not going into that today.

i dreamed i was working out on one of those machines, trying to make myself strong. some one was helping me (i think it was a mailman... how funny is that? funny peculiar, not funny haha.) all of a suddent the ex stuck his head in the room and was screaming at me because the car wasnt running, it was all my fault and he was out $5000. i didnt say anything or even look at him, i was working out trying to make myself strong but i started shaking. i finally had to leave the room by another door and i sat in this little, dark room and was just shaking so hard... and my helper came in there and tried to soothe me so the shaking would stop.

but it never did.

so, i am really tired. bone tired. i dont feel good. im not sure what im going to do today.

maybe i will do this entry thing later.