the strange planet inside my head
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tired
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over the line
i took today off.
yep, that's right, i didn't do a farking thing. i didn't finish the quilt (it's CLOSE) i didn't write, i didn't clean, i didn't do a damned thing but go to the store and stop by my brother's.(under protest, and i stood in the door feelin as out of place as a nipple on a forehead.)
i almost NEVER have a day like that, but i felt youkie when i woke up this morning, i couldn't get warm... and i wonder if it's the heart thingy. i mean i was FREEZING under flannel sheets, a comforter and a blanket. socks and jammies on, too.
i'm very tired, too. i guess i have been pushing hard, but dang, it's hard to know you're going too far when you have been in the PUSH HARD mode all your life.
i did read over The Blood one more freakin time but when i'm tired like this there's no way i'm touching it. i think it's as ready as it's going to be, but i am nervous as hell to post it. it's the only "spec fic" piece i have... (damn them labels) and i might change my mind at the last minute and submit something else. too tired, i just can't think today.
****
the girls have been watching "Trading Spaces" today. usually, i'm a fan of this show; even though $1000 seems like so little to the people trading spaces when i know for a fact $1000 can support a single mom with two kids for a month, if you stretch it just right. *sigh*
anyway, now they have this competition.... where two couples compete for America's vote as to which team moves on to compete with another team that has won their "heat". they have $2000, three days, and a professional designer and carpenter at their disposal. (rough gig, ain't it?) these people have GORGEOUS homes already... and the grand prize is... TA DA... getting their mortgage paid off.
you know, i've talked about getting by with only what you need, so the conspicuous consumption of other people just freaks me out. i wonder if i won a cool million, or EARNED it (how bout that for a concept??) would i become a proponent of gimme have you got lemme take? gawd, i hope not.
when i watched that show today, it occured to me that these people dont NEED this... where are the people that need it? why is it in America, it seems you have to BE somewhere in order to GET somewhere? that if you aren't a member of some minority or willing to suck off the system it's difficult to get a leg up?
****
hmmmm, it may be the crabs didn't entirely leave me from the other day, could be the morning visit with my mother and the brief visit at my brother's today was just enough to push me over the line. plus, i miss someone so badly today it's making me sick to my stomach. i told you that love thing stinks... what, you didn't believe me?
****
oh wait, i did finish a crit... so the day isn't a complete loss. i also got a lead on a job (very good) and i think i sold another quilt (even better!) at any rate, tomorrow is another day.... ooo ooo can't wait.
: )
yep, that's right, i didn't do a farking thing. i didn't finish the quilt (it's CLOSE) i didn't write, i didn't clean, i didn't do a damned thing but go to the store and stop by my brother's.(under protest, and i stood in the door feelin as out of place as a nipple on a forehead.)
i almost NEVER have a day like that, but i felt youkie when i woke up this morning, i couldn't get warm... and i wonder if it's the heart thingy. i mean i was FREEZING under flannel sheets, a comforter and a blanket. socks and jammies on, too.
i'm very tired, too. i guess i have been pushing hard, but dang, it's hard to know you're going too far when you have been in the PUSH HARD mode all your life.
i did read over The Blood one more freakin time but when i'm tired like this there's no way i'm touching it. i think it's as ready as it's going to be, but i am nervous as hell to post it. it's the only "spec fic" piece i have... (damn them labels) and i might change my mind at the last minute and submit something else. too tired, i just can't think today.
****
the girls have been watching "Trading Spaces" today. usually, i'm a fan of this show; even though $1000 seems like so little to the people trading spaces when i know for a fact $1000 can support a single mom with two kids for a month, if you stretch it just right. *sigh*
anyway, now they have this competition.... where two couples compete for America's vote as to which team moves on to compete with another team that has won their "heat". they have $2000, three days, and a professional designer and carpenter at their disposal. (rough gig, ain't it?) these people have GORGEOUS homes already... and the grand prize is... TA DA... getting their mortgage paid off.
you know, i've talked about getting by with only what you need, so the conspicuous consumption of other people just freaks me out. i wonder if i won a cool million, or EARNED it (how bout that for a concept??) would i become a proponent of gimme have you got lemme take? gawd, i hope not.
when i watched that show today, it occured to me that these people dont NEED this... where are the people that need it? why is it in America, it seems you have to BE somewhere in order to GET somewhere? that if you aren't a member of some minority or willing to suck off the system it's difficult to get a leg up?
****
hmmmm, it may be the crabs didn't entirely leave me from the other day, could be the morning visit with my mother and the brief visit at my brother's today was just enough to push me over the line. plus, i miss someone so badly today it's making me sick to my stomach. i told you that love thing stinks... what, you didn't believe me?
****
oh wait, i did finish a crit... so the day isn't a complete loss. i also got a lead on a job (very good) and i think i sold another quilt (even better!) at any rate, tomorrow is another day.... ooo ooo can't wait.
: )
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